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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Which Chapter Do I Start With?

Wow how do I thank all of you for the awesome comments you left me about my writing. As I mentioned in my previous post this was something I was trying to write years ago and had written 24 Chapters. Then when my husband left I could not sit down and finish this except I did one chapter and I slit a man's throat from ear to ear which was my 25th chapter. Sorry I just had to share that. lol

Now that I have tried to start writing again on another story I have in mind I dug these chapters out and thought I wanted to do something with them also. Thanks to your kind words I will now have the inspiration I need to keep writing on this story. The title I have been playing around with for a long time on this is A Father's Son but will probably change it before it is finished.

When I did pull it out and reread it I thought maybe the first chapter the one I posted on the previous post was too long so I wrote this one here. Now I am trying to decide between the two.  Which one of these chapters would make you want to keep reading.

Chapter 1

It was the night before their high school graduation and he and his buddies had gathered at their favorite hideaway to drink beer and smoke pot. Tonight would be their last time together partying as high school friends but he was ready for the change. These parties had started to bore him since he had discovered a better high that had nothing to do with drugs.

After a few hours of listening to the same old bull shit, he knew that he needed something stronger tonight than what he was getting from his buddies and the beer. He made his excuses to leave so he could end the night with the new found drug of his choice.

Leaving the party and driving to a nearby town luck had been riding with him when he found her working the streets alone. It took less than a minute to persuade her inside his truck and maybe another fifteen minutes to have her inside his Dad’s old cabin that was used only during deer season.

Slowly he led her to the small iron bed where he had waited for her to undress. Seeing her naked standing in front of him had almost caused him to burst wide open before he climbed on top of her.

The feeling he got from the warmth of a woman’s naked body lying helplessly beneath him was now the drug of his choice. Tonight’s habit had been younger and prettier than the usual whores he found on the streets.

Like the others before tonight he liked knowing that he was in total control of when a whore would take their last breath. This was the ultimate sensation of being high.

Hours later in his own bed he relived the night. The look in her eyes when he grabbed her throat made his hate tool hard all over again. He had seen that look before on others. They all seemed to be begging for him to stop. Instead the look only increased the intensity and hardness by which his tool of hate entered their bodies

Thanks again for taking the time to read this and give me your thoughts. I know it is a lot to ask but if and when I ever finish and if I am lucky enough to publish it I will of course send you a signed copy. lol

Like they say we have to dream and that is my dream....

Hope you are having a great week.. My therapy was really hard today but I managed to do the whole 2 hours.

Warrenton/Round Top show is here again but for the first time ever I feel like I will not be out there much this year. Just too hard on my neck and back to walk around the fields. I will of course have to try it one day at least.

Love to all


sjmcdowell said...


Maggie...This is one scorching red hot novel you are writing!!! I can't imagine you writing it...but then...there's always "Miss Pearl"!
Uh huh!! ;)

Well my dear I will talk with you soon!!

Love and Hugs,


Arkansas Patti said...

I do think the first one had the stronger hook. This one might work as a later chapter. Perhaps combine some elements from both of them.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Whew, fan me now and get the water hose!!! Girl this is smokin'...I'm blushin' all over! Heeehehe!!!

Great write sweetie!

God bless and have an terrific day!!! :o)

From Beyond My Kitchen Window said...

I like both actually. I am in such awe that either one would be a great start. I want to know what happens.

joanne said...

both are quite hot but I like the first one better...there's just more to it. This would work better as a short story if you decide to go that way.

You won my Spring fling contest so stop on by and give me your info...Congratulations!

Julie Whitmore Pottery said...

Well I've just read both. In the first you start in a dream state, and in the second an action state. Though I like pace in the first one, (and the backstory is really good), I think the idea of starting in action is better.
In the dream state one I found myself trying to figure out who was who in the family, but in the second you got right to the point, tho I think a little elaborating in terms of his background and the girls reaction would enhance it.
way to go, girl

Shirley said...

Hi Maggie, Either way you go. It would keep my interest. I set down and read a paper back book in one evening because it was one that you couldn't put down. I think if you decide to publish this when done. It would be just that hard to put down. You leave us hanging no matter which chapter wanting more. Take care and continue writing. Your Missouri Friend.

Unknown said...

Holy jiggers, girl friend! This is hotter than an egg frying on a summer sidewalk!!! Shoo-doggy!!! Ahhh, shoot! Harold's having surgery, well that takes care of that tonight .... chuckle!

i do think I liked the other chapter more so, tho, no offense ... but they are both excellent writing.
Keep up the good work ...

So had a blast talking with you ... as always, sistah!

Hugs of love,

Nancy's Notes said...

Holy cow! I did not read the other one, but this one is sizzlin'!

Keep at it, I know you'll be published one day soon!


Deb said...

I'm both of them...

Julia said...

Maggie, I'm blushing... I've been thinking about this and frankly it left me a bit uncomfortable to tell you how I really feel. This is hotter than I care to discuss but since I'm an honest person and I usually think things through before I speak, here's my take on this chapter:

I read both chapters and I don't care for racy novels anymore since I'm an older woman ( mind you, I used to get interested when I was way younger, out of curiosity...) and now I try to read only books that nourishes my intellect and my soul but since you ask, I think that the first chapter was better. This last one is a bit too raw for my taste. It would appeal to a different group, I'm sure.

I wouldn't want to explain that chapter to my grandkids if you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, Maggie, you've got talents and plenty of it, it's just that it's not the kind of novels I would be interested in, although I'm sure that there's a market for it.

I hope that you don't get offended by my comment, either you Maggie or Ms Pearl. I certainly wouldn't want that. I still love you Maggie and I hope that you don't get hurt by this comment.

Hugs. JB

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

As always I appreciate all of you and your honesty.
Julia in no way have you offended me by your comment of course there is Ms Pearl's feelings. lol No seriously I knew the consequence's of putting this on my blog. Honestly the rest of the chapters are not near like these two chapters. In whole they are just a story about a father and son who discover things about each other that change their lives forever.
Also the other characters I bring into the book are just normal everyday people with even some falling in love.
But no you did not hurt my feelings and I am glad you were so honest.
Love to all

Dragonlady said...

I read both and like them both, but i think the first one captured me quicker, but both would work....keep em coming or at least let us have a shot at getting your book when it is published and i do believe it can be published...

GerryART said...

Your first version caught my attention.
After reading this current version,
I still believe the first is more catchy for this 70+ year old gal.
We're all awaiting your first published!