When do you think I will learn my lesson? My last post I had fun with a little ole lady having gas at the therapy pool….it was all in fun. Did not mean anything by it but let me tell you be careful what you put out in the universe. Since Thursday night I have had the big D word! Yep Diarrhea and I mean the kind that makes you start thinking is this how I going out of this world, on the pot. I thought of Elvis dying in his bathroom and looked around at mine and wished it were cleaner.
Honestly I never seriously believed in Voodoo or cruses but I am starting to reconsider my thoughts on this and believe that some fool out there has cursed me big time. Look at what all has happened to me since the end of April. Now I have the D word from hell. I tell you I have never not even with the prep of the colonoscopy had I run like this to the bathroom. All night Thursday, Friday, Saturday and part of today. God I thought I was going to die. My girlfriend Sharon brought over some Imodium yesterday and I have just about taken the whole package. I was desperate. A person could die from all that crapping.
At one time during the night I even considered making a pallet near the commode but since my back injury my floors aren’t for sleeping on so I just kept the running back and forth. After nearly a whole box of Imodium I feel like it might be over but whom in the heck knows. All I know is this has been the weekend from hell and I am starting to think I know who is behind all my luck.
Remember I had to get that crazy woman out of my house because she would not pay her rent until the end of the month and how filthy I found my home when I approached her about the rent. She went off on me and started waving her big floppy arms around and sticking her finger in my face. Do you think all that waving and dancing was some kind of spell she was putting on me? Since that day my life has been upside down.
So how does one undo a curse? Good question! I guess that if I can stay off the commode long enough I will google that question.
And you know what is really strange since my accident. Ms. Pearl has gone into some deep dark hole and has not come out. It’s like she knows better than to confront a curse. All I know is I want my life back and Ms. Pearl better get herself out of hiding and do something about what ever the heck is going on in my life.
By the way how was your weekend?
Don't forget to enter the CSN giveaway for $70.00 Gift Certificate. Just click on the U Matter Giveaway on the side bar.
Sorry I have not been blogging or catching up with all of you. One of these days my life will be normal again.
Love to all
Maggie
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29 comments:
Maggie, so sorry you are having a crappy weekend. (I am so sorry sweetie but I just could not resist). I know it was a shitty thing to say. (oops, sorry - did it again).
Ok I hope you still have your sense of humor. Lol Now about this curse...I have heard eating chocolate chip cookies while drinking red wine and singing loudly off-key is effective. Not sure if it is for a curse or just to make you giggle.....hmmmm....try it and let us know.
Kim
Geeze Maggie, this could be what's going on.
I say we contact Ms. Cleo and have her do a reading, oops, I think they put her in jail! LOL!
Maybe you could google some good witches brew that scares away curses. Maybe something with eye of newt, or some concoction. I'd sure put one on that floopy armed floozy!
Home you can get off the pot tonight!
Just kiddin, I feel bad for you. Poor dear.
hugs
Sissie
oops, I meant to say Hope you can get off the pot!
hugs
Sissie
Oh poop, I can't stop from laughing long enough to type. Hold on a doodie minute! Okay, darlin', I am so sorry you have had the runs for four freaking days! Look at the bright side of the kaa-kaa time, all of that yucky dead bacteria is gone and I bet that wacky turd curse is too! If not, you have to start brewing a pot of something!
Okay Maggie, now if my ribs ache from laughing so hard at your great writing skills about a very crappy time, well, not so sure what I'll do, all I know is that now my husband is wondering why I am in hysterics!
Okay, on a very serious note, get to feeling better soon, no more potty time, you hear! I worry about you!
Hugs,
Nancy
OMG Maggie, I am such a moron. I just realized that what I didn't say in my last comment was please feel better soon and I hope this virus has passed. Geez, dopey me! Seriously darling, feel better soon.
Hugs, Kim
Hmmmm, are you sure that wasn't you tooting all along then? Maybe that was your precursor to this situation. And here you are blaming some poor, defenseless, flatulence free old lady! ; )
Oh dear friend.......things seem to be going from bad to worse in your world........let me see...cure for a curse. Where did I put my book on "Voodoo"??????
All kidding aside...doc told me when I had a similar case....NO SOLID FOOD FOR 24 hours.....only liquids, broth, water, 7-up plus using Imodium should slow things down.
Hopefully this helps,,,,,,,,get well sweet lady!!!
Xo
Jo
Hi Maggie,
You poor sweet dear, that must have been the weekend from hell, feeling like that.
Do you think it is something you may have eaten?
Shellfish and chicken can sometimes play havoc.
Do hope that you are feeling better and look after your sweet self. My wish is that you will have your life back.
Hugs
Carolyn
Hi Maggie. When I had the dreaded campylobacter the doctor told me not to take Immodium. It wil stop the D but to feel better it needs to be gone. She told me I could take Pepto
Bismol as it just settled you belly. It's pink as well, hah. I hop it has stopped for now. Gaterade mixed with water. You have had a rough time. Get better, my friend.
oh Maggie you are too funny..I hope you are using two-ply..and that it has lotion in it..cause I bet you are hurting from well you know.;) Take er easy..and I hope you were able to plug the dam with the imodium.;)
I LAUGHED SO HARD at the "I wish my bathroom was cleaner" comment!! I have had an streak of rotten stuff happening to me lately too. However I don't need to be near the bathroom for it! (Can I give it to the lady who messed up your house and started yelling?) You poor baby!!
MAGGIE! I am just glad this smell o vision isn't invented :) No I am kidding! I am so sorry you aren't feeling well! & that is a bad kinda of bad! I gotta get going but I just wanted to stop in & tell you to have a good week! I can feel it....it will be! No curses allowed :)
Maggs...
I'm not even gonna try to compete with all the girls who've left comments before me. I'm just not worthy.
I'm gonna concentrate on "The Curse" part of your post, because I have a really sensitive stomach, and don't want to be throwing up all over this comment.
I've been in menopause for a number of years, but I can remember having The Curse from the time I was 16 until I was in my mid-40s. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of The Curse. I heard from friends that being on The Pill was a good way to delay, although not cure The Curse. I also heard that getting preggers would also put The Curse on hold. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find a cure for The Curse.
What I did find was that copious amounts of liquor...in the form of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine, or margaritas would help me forget about The Curse for a while. Even though it always returned, if I'd indulged in a few margaritas, I didn't give a hoot.
Sorry, this is the best I can do for ya, girlfriend. Have a couple of brewskis and hope you can just forget about The Curse.
Love ya!
Donna
Lost it at the Elvis image and the bathroom condition.
Now that I have quit laughing, please keep yourself hydrated. Dehydration can be very serious with the big D.
As for the curse, find a highway flattened green frog, bury it under an at least 12 foot tall willow tree at midnight on the 3rd Tuesday of the month. Works every time. Not only gets rid of the curse but puts it back on the original giver. Oh Yeah.
Be well gal. Nuff is enough.
You poor thing! I think the lady with the floppy arms didn't give you a curse but rather, gave you GERMS! YUK. Take care and don't forget to drink LOTS of liquid...I KNOW..I KNOW...it's the last thing you want to do but you MUST. Don't DEHYDRATE!
xoxo
Nancy
OK so I got a pin and stuck it in my doll of floppy arm woman and then I stuck it in the dolls butt. Then she'll get the D word.
Now I'm waving my arms around the universe and saying lots of crap words.
OK that's done.
Now I am sending good vibes your way with my fingertips.
OK.
That should do it.
Oh, and maybe give me your address so I can send you some Imodium.
Sorry things are going so crappy for you right now!
HUGS!
I am so sorry for you! I hope you are all plugged up now!
Look on the bright side you have a lot of good stuff to put in your Christmas letter this year! lol
Oh Maggie, even with the craps you are still a hoot and keep your sense of humor. The comments above are hilarious. I swear you should write a book. Sure hope you are feeling much better by now. Definitely don't let yourself dehydrated and take good care. Best wishes always, Tammy
Hey girl....how's it hanging? **giggles** Oh my goodness....I'm sorry....but you are a hoot!! I'm hoping you are feeling better for sure....but either way.....keep the stories coming please!! tee hee hee!!
Stace
I'm thinking the reason the lady was exploding in the pool is the same reason you're exploding in the bathroom..something in the pool water? A new medication maybe? Maybe you need to burn sage like they do when they want evil spirits out of a house...just don't smoke it, with your luck you'd be thrown in the slammer. Hope you feel better soon!
I hope Ms. Pearl finds a solution soon. And I hope YOU get some major relief soon.
You deserve a break here!!
Hugs.
=)
No worries baby, I've voodooed the rag bunny and done the reverse-trots dance and chanted three time above the commode. Now please tell me I didn't do all this in vain and you are better!!!
I've said a prayer for you, we KNOW that works and hope you are on the mend.
God bless and feel better sweetie!
Feelin' shitty huh? Well..hope everything comes out alright...lol Drinks lots of water and eat bananas, rice and bread...that will plug ya up....
Hope your feelin' better,
bunny
P.S.Maybe Miz Pearl scared the crap of yourself...finally...lol
What a Crappy Tenant! No wonder you are at your wits "end!"
I'm "behind" you 100% percent! You deserve better and to feel better!
Love you to pieces!
Shell
I am new to your blog, but I do have some advice. Go to the doctor! Not being smarty, but diarrhea lasting more than 36 hours is due to either a bacterium or a virus. The most famous one is cholera! Drink water..don't let yourself dehydrate..drink lots of water. Don't take Immodium because your system is clearing out a problem...even cholera can be kicked if you just keep drinking water! Seriously, go to the doctor if it isn't over, not just better, by tomorrow!
It isn't just simply trots if it last over 24 hours...if it is salmonella, it can kill you while you wonder what is wrong!
I'm just saying....
oh my GOOMIE, Maggie! eat lots and lots of cheese!
ugh, i'm so sorry to hear you're feeling blech right now and hope it passes quickly (no pun intended, i swear!). i'm thinking that this is bringing you lots of GOOD karma, and something fantastic is right around the corner. that can be the only reason!
Good Morning Maggie Sweetie...
I hope you are feeling all better by now. So sorry to hear you have been under the weather. I am keeping you in prayer sweet friend.
How is your back doing? Is the sheriff going to let you come back part time? I have been praying about that, as we are not going to take a NO on this one. Ms Pearl will make an appearance I am sure if he doesn't agree. I don't think he wants to meet Ms Pearl.
I will continue to keep you in my prayers sweetie. Try to have a beautiful day today. Please know that you are so loved.
Many hugs and much love, Sherry
Sweet Maggie, Now this is just not right!!! You have been through more than enough and all this has got to stop. I hope you are doing and feeling much better by now and nothing else bad comes your way.
Calling Ms. Pearl....sweet Maggie needs you so you get yourself out of hiding and help her out here...this bad stuff has to go NOW!
Still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sweet Maggie and I am hoping I will come here the next time you post and I will read nothing but all good things have happened to you.
Love and huge hugs dear, sweet friend!
Poor Maggie, oh my have I had a laugh at all the comments! Hope you're feeling better by now! Take it easy and rest up, "floppy armed lady" be gone!!
xo,
Debra
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