Spring is here! I know many of you are still having some very cold temperature's but hang in there it won't be long and you can enjoy beautiful Azaleas like these.
For weeks now I have been trying to sit down at my computer and to let you know what is going on in my life since March 8th but I didn't really know how to tell you.
Sunday three weeks ago today I went outside to move one of the tractors. It was starting to rain again and I wanted to move it to higher ground. I started wheezing and since I had heard wheezing in my chest area the week before I decided to go to the emergency room. I honestly thought I had pneumonia. I was tired all the time and had lost my appetite.
They ran several test and then the emergency room doctor gave me the bad news. He told me I had Congestive Heart Failure. You could of knocked me over with a feather because I had no idea it was my heart.
A heart doctor was there before I could blink an eye and put a Nitro glycerin patch on my chest and the rest of the day I was sick as a dog.
In a very short time my three children were by my side and stayed with me for the three days in the hospital. I have always known they loved me but never have I felt more love than I did during this time.
I am home taking it slower and have not returned back to work yet. I keep thinking this is all a bad dream and it will go away but of course then reality slips in and I know it will never go away.
I seem to be in shock and can't grasp it all just yet. I wanted to share this with you weeks before now but like I mentioned I didn't know how to tell you.
Heart problems has a long history in my family especially my mother's side of the family. When I had radiation twenty years ago they told me the radiation would damage a section of my heart and I am wondering if this is why I have this disease besides family history and of course too many pounds over the last few years I am sure has not helped.
After leaving the hospital I honestly thought I would feel better in a week or so but I am weak and can hear the fluid in my chest at times. I have no energy and I pretty much just feel blah most of the time. I would be lying to you if I told you I am not scared. I go to sleep at night wondering if I will see the sunrise the next morning.
My daughter Christi wedding is April 18th and I keep praying that by then I will be stronger because she deserves the prefect day.
Thursday the 2nd I will see a heart doctor in Austin. He is at the Heart Institute there and maybe he can shed more light on all the questions I have about this disease. Reading about it on the internet has absolutely scared me to death.
It's strange how one day you think your fairly healthy and the next your taking a dozen pills and feel like your time is short. My sweet grandson Bailey writes me text all the time and right after this happened he wrote me "Please Grandma Yellow Hair get well for Me!" It made me cry but I promised him I would.
His dad is after me to move closer to them in Austin. I am of course thinking maybe I should figure out how to make that happen.
Sorry for going on and on about my latest issue. I knew you would want to know and I love you for always being here for me.
Love to All,
Maggie
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