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Monday, January 17, 2011

A Funny Letter!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 FM in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below.

~Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

If I ever get well and Gary too this is how I want my upstairs bedroom to look! I can dream can't I. The bed I have now upstairs is similar to this but oak. I love this look.

Waiting on Christi so we can go to Houston so I thought I would try to make you laugh this morning. I know when I got this email this morning with this letter attached I laughed pretty hard. Hurt me thinking of the damage a jelly fish could do to ones butt. hahaha

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Love to all



Kim said...

Some of your posts should come with a warning -- Like do not have a mouthful of coffee while reading OR Make sure to empty bladder before continuing to read.
OMG First part of the letter I spit coffee on my desk and by the end I had my legs crossed! Bahahahahahahahaha

Brynwood Needleworks said...

You've done it again! Laughed my "non-jellyfish burned" ass off! lol I agree with Kim on the "empty bladder" part. Thank God for Poise pads!
Hope you have a safe trip to Houston with Christi.
Keep in touch, girlfriend.

Sharon said...

I agree that you need to put a warning on this post. I had just taking a sip of hot coffee when I can to the butt part.
Just I will stop complaining about my job.
Have a safe trip.

Anonymous said...

I hope you sent this to Gary!

Linda said...

It sounds like he had a bad day at work!

sjmcdowell said...

Maggie I REALLY needed this Bad Day Jellyfish story today!!! Thank you!!!

Laughter makes a heavy heart lighter!!


Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

I am going to have share at work on Wednesday. Thank you for the best laugh I have had in awhile. I don't know about anyone else but I kept getting a perfect visual of all of this.
Hugs, Sue

Anne's Original Hooked Rugs said...

OMIGOSH!!! Hysterical, for us of course....LOL!!!!

Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

It's just me again. I tried reading this story to my husband and it took me approximately 10 minutes to tell the story because I was laughing so hard. My sides hurt. No kidding.

yaya said...

I was seriously going to blog about my work day, but first I wanted to read your I'm not going to post anything and I had the best laugh of the day! I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all! Maggie, you take the cake girl!

susanc said...

Hysterical! I don't know what else to say! :) Thanks for the laugh!

Nezzy said...

Ya'll should of warned me not to sip green tea while readin' this post. Dang, now I've got to clean the computer!!! Heeehehehehe!

Girl, you've got me rollin'!

God bless and have a most splendid day sweetie!!!

Stacy Crawford said...

I will have to admit that is worse than anyday I've had at the office.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my!! Am I ever thankful I never had a job at the bottom of the sea. It was a very funny story but I could not help but feel sorry for the guy between the laughs.

Love that bed and the doll in the chair too.

Love and hugs sweet Maggie

Gorges Smythe said...

I've never learned how to do links on my blog, but I AM going to refer my readers to this story; it cracked me up!

Debby said...

Oh my gosh, how awful and how embar"ass"ing. Sorry couldn't resist.

Julia said...

Oh Maggie, we all have bad days now and then but I think that the era of really bad days is over because this beats them all.

I didn't had time to read another blog tonight as I'm packing to fly very early in the morning to see my brand new baby boy grandson born early this morning but just couldn't leave until I read your blog.

I was smart though, I just went to the bathroom just before I read your post and both my husband and I were laughing so hard.

Poor guy, I bet he'll never live this one down. JB

DeanO said...

That's some kind of funny - thanks GS

Arkansas Patti said...

I held it together pretty well till I got to his swollen shut butt.
That sure puts a "bad day" into perspective.

From Beyond My Kitchen Window said...

I have never had a bad day like that. The thought of a jelly fish in the crack of your bum...Owww.

Delena said...

The visual in my mind's eye is working overtime right now. Too too funny! Can you imagine...

Sybil said...

Can't wait to tell my friends that one Maggie...You are so wonderful to give us a laugh so often.
Hope Gary is ok.
Love Sybil xx

lani said...

I love my job
I love my job
I love my job


Tina Eudora said...

Oh Maggie that was hilarious, that poor guy, I could almost feel his pain! It is so funny but I kind of feel sorry for the jellyfish too!! I bet he wishes he had stayed floating happily on the surface and not gone to investigate that hose. Definitely a cautionary tale for young jellyfish everywhere!!!
Have a smiley day Maggie and thanks for the pick-me-up laugh!
Tina xo

Pam said...

Thank god I'm retired and don't have to worry about that. Hilarious!!!

Karen Whittal said...

I can just picture it, I will NEVER complain about my job again. Catching up on all your blogs, hope that Gary is doing better, and pray for healing for him. 2011 is going to be a good one for you, that's of course if you don't lose all your blogger friends because we have laughed ourselves to death at your stories. Lots of love Karen

Sue said...

No-jellyfish days for all!


Donna said...

Gee, I just came home from a VERY weary day...BUT it was champagne great compared to jelly fish!! I laughed so hard when i read this that I almost spit out the water I was drinking all over....thanks for a good chuchle!!!

artangel said...

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!

Libbie said...

hey Maggie...I had to come over when I read about Gary! oh No! I can't believe all he is going through! & you guys too! I can't imagine the scare you all got!!! It makes me feel really helpless here but I know I can pray!

It made me smile to see how even though your family is going through so much you can even manage to make us smile today. you are a special girl Maggie!!! Take care!!! thinking of you all!

myletterstoemily said...

that has to be the worst day ever! poor guy. :)
thanks for brightening mine, though!

hippo chick said...

What a wonderfully laughable story. Thanks.

~hippo hugs~