Where do I begin this post? This whole week has been such a nightmare that I will try to keep this short as I can but yet answer some of your sweet concerns about Gary.
I went to MD Anderson Tuesday morning because I wanted to be there when they finally were going to put the feeding tube in Gary. As you know at this time it had been 25 days since he had eaten.
The procedure was suppose to take place at 7:30 am but at 3:00 his doctor came in the room to explain to Gary what he was going to do. Then he ask Gary if he had any questions. Gary said one word and then his mouth went to one side and I jumped up knowing something bad was happening and he went into cardiac arrest. I could tell that he was not breathing and Sherry was there screaming at the doctors and they told me to get her out of there. I grabbed her and managed to get her out before they used the paddles on him.
They brought him back and immediately started the test to figure out what was next. After about thirty minutes three heart surgeons came out and told us they were moving him two blocks away to Memorial Hermann Heart Vascular Center and for us to meet them there.
Gary had to have a stint put in. By this time all my brothers and their wives were with me and Sherry.
The next few days were critical and he is still in there Critical Care Unit but doing fine. I had planned on staying until today but some terrible things happened while I was there so my dear sweet sister-in-law relieved me and I am home.
You really get to know people when something like this is going on. All I can say is I was not happy at what I saw the days I was there. Turns out Sherry is Gary's wife not financee and I was told by a stranger. Then several hours after the stranger told me Sherry told me with one condition that no one else in the family knows.
Is that not hateful and dumb. Sorry to use those words but can you imagine finding out this news when all this is going on. She wants a big wedding in the fall in her home state of Tenn so does not want anyone to know their married. Give me a break.
Watching Gary go into cardiac arrest and then surgery has me drained. Plus having stupid drama too.
To top that off Wednesday night Sherry and I were both in CCU with him and I told her and Gary at 9 they would throw one of us out for the night. Well Gary had tubes in him and he was writing everything down. He wanted both of us there because he has so much mucus in him he is deathly afraid of choking to death. Several sweet nurses came in asking me to leave and Sherry and Gary were both so rude to these people that I wanted to crawl under the nearest thing I could find. Finally at 10:30 I left. I could see how mad Sherry was when I left.
During the night Gary kept having aniexty attachs and pulled one of his tubes out. This was around 4:30. Sherry calls my brother 2 hours away and tells them to get there now she needed help. There I was three blocks away in a cancer apartment. Of course when I found out about her calling them and them rushing down there Ms Pearl made an appearance in the waiting room. She said some things that were probably not nice but you know Ms. Pearl.
I brought my brother Billy back home last night and his wife is down there. She is a saint but I know by this morning she has had a dose of what I have had for the week.
The only thing I know is that once again your prayers pulled Gary back to be with us again for I hope a long time. They have to resume his radiation today or else. Which they would not discuss the or else. So praise God his last treatment will be Monday. Then he will be recovering hopefully with nothing else happening until March when they are going to remove a few lymph nodes.
I have said more that I should have in this post. But believe me I held back. lol....One example of some of the stuff I heard while I was there is Sherry ask Gary if he wanted her to bake him a birthday cake for his birthday on the 27th and bring it up there. I said like an idiot no he can't eat it. She said Gary if I bring you a cake maybe with food your relatives will be here.
Thank you so much for your friendship and prayers.
Love to all
Maggie
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47 comments:
I know your pain...I am so sorry you have to go through this.. pain..all of your family...
You needed to vent...by all means..go ahead..we are hear to listen.
you poor thing...so much drama, that you don't need! I hope he gets well fast, I will pray for both of you!
This is a TV drama waiting to happen! So sorry you are being hit with all this family drama at such a sensitive time..keep being your loving supportive self and screw the rest. Life is too short. Be well.
Janet xox
Good thoughts as always for Gary
Let it all out girl, that's what were here for..
Maggie, you can't control what people around you say or do, but you can be there for him and support him as best you can. He knows you love him and that's all you you and him need to know.
love ya,
bunny
Oh Maggie,
I hardly know what to say. But I do know how a family dynamic can shift in weird and unpleasant ways during times of intense stress. It is not always pretty.
All you or anyone can do is what you think is best at the time. Hang in there honey and try not to get sucked into the drama.
Prayers for you and Gary continue.
Luv ya, Kim
Oh, sweet Maggie I am so sorry for all that happened. I am glad that you have your blog, it is a perfect place to vent. I am glad too that you shared this so we know how to pray for you and Gary. Just do what you feel is best for Gary and you all the others can do the same. I know it is hard but try not think about all that has been said and done. Try to keep those positive thoughts going. You always have Ms. Pearl if you need her too. Sending you much love and many hugs. Prayers will continue going up for Gary and you.
Dear Maggie:
My, how an illness in the family can bring out the best - and worst - in people! I think it's reprehensible that Sherry should think she's entitled to a full-blown wedding (and all the trappings...AND GIFTS) at this stage. One might think that she'd be more concerned with the long-term health of HER HUSBAND instead. Don't get me started or my "male 1/2" is going to rear it's ugly head and I might say something I'll regret.
I commend you for maintaining your cool throughout this entire ordeal. There is something special for you in Heaven, for sure!
Do the best you can to rest and relax. You need to take care of you, too. We'll all pray for Gary and to take a load off your shoulders so you can continue to heal.
Hugs to you, my friend.
xoxo
Donna
It's a total shame when someone shows their fanny like that. You really find out someone's true colors when it comes to illness.
I am sending you love and prayers dear Maggie and the same for Gary.
Love,
LuLu~*xoxo
Yes its true what Bunny said, that you cannot control what others say. But its hard to hold things in, while you seethe. What you need is a calm ship to come home to, your faith, your home, your friends.
Take care now, they surely do need you
xx
julie
It is to bad that family has to rear ugly heads during someone's illness. I will continue to pray for you and Gary.
I hope that you just do what you feel you need to do for him and the heck with others.!!!
Remember that we will always be here for you if you need to vent again dear sister.
Hugs
Maggie
That is so awful. I know what you mean, being there with a loved one in a life and death situation and having a diva (male or female) in the crowd.
Try to get some rest for the next round, ok?
Susan
It is such an upset when these sort of things happen in families Maggie. We just cannot understand the minds of other people, It is especially hard when our loved ones are involved..Please take care of yourself. Others can take care of themselves...
You have done all you can for Gary...right now maybe up to his "wife" who I presume he loves...to help him. My prayers are for you all. xx
Love Sybil x
OMG! Sorry to hear what you are going thru, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers to get thru this.....HUGS MARY
{{{{{{{{{Maggie}}}}}}}}}}
Oh, Maggie. I am so sorry. It's sad how a crisis brings out everyone's warts, isn't it? It must have been awful when all that superficial drama was heaped on top of the real-life drama that was going on.
I will say a prayer for all of you right now, and I will keep them coming.
Take care! And keep your chin up. Because your brother is obviously fighting the good fight, and that usually makes for a victory.
=)
Working in a hospital, you see people in hugely stressful situations. That alone puts family in strange moods in which they say things they otherwise would not. Staff is mostly understanding of circumstances. Those that can maintain their class and cool in these situations are to be commended. It sounds like that is what YOU are TRYing to do.
Did they EVER put in that feeding tube??? He needs that nutrition. I can't imagine not being told that my brother was married...that had to be rough too, but as I say, people do things in stressful situation that they would not ordinarily do.
Hang in htere Maggie!!!!
Hi Maggie. First of all , it is so sad that that happened to Gary. Is his heart okay. Then I feel so bad for you. The secret of them being married is ridiculous. I would think that a wedding in the fall is rather insignificant considering Gary's health. That should be number one on her list right now. With that said it seems that Gary needs you in his court. I will continue to pray for you and Gary. I hope the family stuff mends itself and soon. xo
As long as I live I will never understand why in times of crisis that the uglier side of people can come out. Maggie, I know this must be almost too much but please keep in mind that you must just take one day at a time and most importantly take care of yourself. Make sure you eat right and do your best to get your necessary rest even if you have to do it with some sleep medication for now. Lack of sleep fogs the mind and you want Ms. Pearl to have her wits about her :)
Keep posting sweetie. We don't care what it is. If you need to let lose this is the place to do it.
Comforting cyber hugs coming your way, Sue
oh, aren't families such a mess? i know mine is.
i am so sorry yours had such turmoil and pray
for gary's swift recovery . . . and YOURS!
You have so many friends out here, don't ever feel bad for venting. Venting is good for the soul. Especially to sympathetic friends!! Poor Gary, and all the brothers and sisters, this is really a time to COME TOGETHER not add in drama! So sorry this happened. So glad that Gary made it through and I know he knows you are there to support him, regardless of the bad feelings, (let's hope he didn't hear any of that yucky stuff).
Love you and care for you and your sanity! Praying for Gary, and all you siblings! for health and peace.
Dear MaggieGirl...
Sweet friend...I just had to pop in today and tell you I'm thinking of you. I'm sooo sorry you are hurting over all this and PROMISE YOU my prayers are ongoing up to The Most High. I believe in prayer. I mean I BELIEVE IN PRAYER. I know God is with you this very moment and I pray He's love, peace and grace cover you and your family every day.
I love what Maya Anglou says about a person's character... She said you know all you need to know about someone you learn by watching how they handle lost luggage, rain and tangled Christmas lights. The worst behavior I've ever witnessed in my life surrounded beautiful events...a wedding and a memorial service. I'll NEVAH wrap my brain around that...NEVAH! Not sure what happens...but something sure does.
Blessings to you this day...I'm thinking of you.
Love, Rebecca
I am so sorry about how hard is this for all of you.
Prayers are coming your way. When things like this happen in our family like you all hell breaks lose now why is that? as my husband says you can chose your friends but you can't chose your family so chose your friends wisely.
Looks like you have a whole lot of friends here hugs to you maggie
cathy
I have so much I could say right now but it all seems so unimportant...I am thinking of you, I love you, and I am sending prayers for your family and especially Gary...take care of you my dear friend.
Wow Maggie - have you worn your tongue down to a nub biting it to keep from shouting at Sherry? I know I would have! Sounds like you've had a really tough week and I hope you can relax and decompress some this weekend. Prayers going up for all of you. That Sherry sounds like a real winner (NOT)!
Count to ten, take a huge deep breath and then take the high road. You will always feel better. Blessings to you and your family!!
my goodness, this situation is already painfull and stressful enough for you with all the extra drama.. shaken my head... I'm glad you got home for some rest.. I know you need it in order to get through the rest of this ordeal..
I am saying prayers for all of ya..
I'm just so very sorry that Gary had to go through more trauma on his body and that you had to endure the hospital drama. It breaks my heart, been there...done that and it takes it's toll.
There are no words except know that I'm prayin' for Gary's health and for you sweet Maggie.
God bless you and have a peaceful weekend my friend!!!
Maggie, I sat here for a bit trying to figure out what I could write that would cheer you up, hold you up and maybe bring a smile. I'll just add my prayers to all the others being offered, and hopefully when Gary is better everyone can have a good sit down and talk things over moment. Until then, just keep being the classy lady you are!
Hi Maggie darlin,
I know how difficult all of this drama can be. But, unfortunately families can and will do this to us. Doesn't mean it's right, it just happens.
The best thing is that you are there for your brother. He really isn't responsible for his behavior right now because he's sick and the sick always lash out to those they love the most or to those who are caring for them.
I am so glad that we have our blogs and our sweet blogger buddies to lean on when times are tough.
We are all here to support you and I will say an extra prayer for you.
hugs
Sissie
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie!! How in the world do you do it? I would have a hard time biting my tongue and keeping it all in But I know for your brother's sake you are trying to be the peacemaker, and soothe all the ruffled feathers, just remember to take good care of yourself too! It won't help anyone if you are laying in the bed next to your brother!
I am praying hard for your Gary and for you too Maggie! Take the time to fill your cup this weekend...
Love ya a bunch!
Tina xo
Some folks are inlaws and some folks are outlaws. I'll say some prayers for Gary and the rest of you. Better get some rest!
Oh dear Maggie....sound like you retained your composure remarkably well. I would have thrown a hissy-fit!!!!
Xo
Jo
Maggie, my heart and prayers are with you, and your family, stress situations cause people to do things and act in ways that are not explainable......... I am sure they had their reasons, before you decide, wait and listen. In the mean time pack Ms Pearl away, and be the fantastic, warm, understanding Maggie,that we all know and love, and let the tomorrows take care of themselves, but live the todays, like there are no tomorrows, with no regrets.......
Oh Honey my heart and prayers go out to you with all that is going on you sure don't need drama! Love ya and hang in there!
Kim said it quite well. I am so sorry you and Gary are exposed to all this drama. Really poor timing.
You have been in my prayers and will continue to be.
Dear Maggie and Ms Pear, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm glad that you could vent your frustrations but to find out that Sherry was your brother Gary's wife must have come as a shock.
You and Gary are in my prayers and I hope that things will start to improve this coming week for Gary.
Just do what you can do and no one can ask for more. Take care of yourself.
Hugs, JB
I'm emailing you sweetie ... better we talk there. Love you ~ Marydon
Hi Maggie, I just want you to know that I am wishing I could live closer to you right now and be moral support for you. It is hard when family is going through such turmoil and to have something like that happen. You handled it very well. His Wife should have been more composed so that she could deal with the doctors. How long have they been married? People do strange things. Just take care of yourself and take it one day at a time. We are all praying for you and Gary. It helps to get you through the worse. HUGS to you Your Missouri Friend.
Maggie Maggie Maggie I wish I could write what I am thinking right now but you might not like the words I would use.
You are going through so much with your back and neck and Gary and then all this woman does is be hateful to you while your helping her. Don't even get me started. How can people be so stupid. Sorry this is light to what I really want to say.
If I were you and I know you don't want to hear this but you need to just step back and take care of yourself and let her take care of her hubby.
You need the rest and she needs to apolize to you
Always
Tam
Oh, Maggie! That's a lot to deal with. It's bad enough that your brother is SO sick and came so close to death! But to have the other drama right now is ridiculous!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Hola amiga!!!! Te escribo para desearte un feliz año 2011!!! Qué todos tus sueños se cumplan!!! Feliz año 2011!!! :)
Oh Maggie Sweetie...
I am storming the heavens tonight as I write this. Gary is in the BEST hands possible and I know God has his guardian angel watching over him.
It is such a sad situation when there is a tragedy in a family. Sadly it can bring out the worst in people, and then the mud slinging begins instead of finding comfort in each others arms. Been there, done that. Don't want to go there ever again sweetie. Just know that it happens in all families, you aren't alone.
I think Ms Pearl knew she had to step in and hold you up there. Glad she did, and I am going to tip her for this one. Way to Go Ms Pearl.
I think you did the best thing to walk away from the situation and breathe a little. I will be keeping you in my prayers as well sweetie. You need a little lift as well. I am right here holding your hand, and guarding your little heart.
Please keep me posted and you can always email me if you need to talk. Many hugs and SO much love sweet one, Sherry
Dearest Maggie, You and Gary are in my prayers 24/7. I am sending lots of hugs!
Maggie- it has been a while since my last visit - and here I am to read this post- I don't know whither to laugh (at the stupid antics of your "sister in law") or cry for your worry and heartache. It must be meant for me to be here now for a visit- another person to pray for your brother and for your family.
You are a dear- your support is unending- I admitre you for seeing through all the drama to focus on the real needs of your brother. Count me as another person praying for you dear- (Bless your sweet heart!) I hope there is no more "drama!"
Vicki
Oh my word Maggie!
ENOUGH!!!!!
You have been there for Gary and have been such a support for him.
I hope things calm down for you soon.
I'm so glad Gary is OK, it's a good thing he was where he was when he went into cardiac arrest.
YOU need some rest and some "Maggie time". Also GO MS PEARL! I love her!
That's why God invented blogging, so you could share with us what you are going through. I feel so so so so bad for you and for your brother. Please give him a hug and tell him it's from Jo. And here is a ((((((((hug)))))))) for you too -- and for Mrs. Pearl. ;-)
Maggie, I am so sorry for all the chaos going on. Worry and fear causes so much of this; holding one's tongue surely will prevent family confusion and dissent later. I have went through the same scene - tongues weren't held and now the price is overwhelming. Hang on Lady, even if others don't. Peace and calm is what Gary needs to heal; this will bring him and you and everyone involved through it all. It's a hard road;I know. It can be done though. Positive wishes for everyone of you. Sissy
If you can (or even want to) keep that secret, you are a better woman than I. As I see it, they are getting all the 'gifts' they need right now what your family rallying around for love and support. God Bless you, but I would be singing like a canary....you can bet that God Forbid, something happens to your brother, the 'wife' would be there claiming all her rights.
Sorry, but I think Miss Pearl may have paid me a visit! Make sure to take care of YOU...you need it!
♥,
Lynne
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