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Thursday, December 10, 2009


Yep you guessed it Ms. Pearl made an appearance the other night. She has been so good that we all knew it was just a matter of time.
This story starts with two EX friends of mine that work in a nearby county for a Sheriffs Department. I met these lovely ladies in a Officers training class a few years ago. They are both happily married and want me to be.  So after months of their constant persistent nagging I agreed to go on a blind date arranged by these two officers. Keep in mind I have been telling these two ladies no forever and they just don't take no for an answer. So being the dummy I am I gave in the other day. OH HOW happy I made those two. The fellow they wanted me to meet was a Judge from their county.  Ok I thought being a Judge how bad could it be. I mean they are normally trustworthy upstanding citizens. Right?
Well on with the story........He and I talked on the phone a few times and I found him to be very funny and outgoing so I agreed on a meeting him at a local nice restraurant in my small town.
In my whole life time I have been on maybe two or three blind dates. The first stands out in my mind because I was just out of high school and he was in the Navy. Good gosh when I opened my door that evening my knees went weak and could not hardly talk to the boy all night because he was the most beautiful human I had ever seen. lol Good thing Navy kept us apart because I thought it was love at first sight.
Back to the dreary future........Ok I meet this Judge in public not my home even though I know how easily one can find where one lives now if they so desire. But I felt this was the best way to meet. Thank God I can still sometimes make a good decision. NOT Often mind you but every now and then. Anyway I was nervous for two days just preparing for this. I just don't date ladies so this was stressful to me. I even shaved my legs. hahahahaha.....Had my nails done.....tried on my old clothes and even considered buying something new but after hours of trying on clothes I found a nice little (well not really little) black dress that I had a really pretty shawl that I wore with it.Even pretty high heels. I am telling you ladies I took the time to try and look nice. Sprayed on some pretty sexy cologne and went out the door.
At the restaurant......I nervously went inside and came very close to turning around and going back home. I was told by these two ex friends of mine that he was very nice looking and great personality and we two would hit it off. Well I was expecting maybe a George Clooney look a like or Tom Selleck but he was more of a oh whats that guys name oh yeah Richard Gere look going. Not bad looking and we had no trouble talking. He made me laugh and I enjoyed that and I found myself thinking well this was not bad. I guess I could date this guy and enjoy being with him sometime. So after several hours we decide or the waiter decides we should leave.
He walks me to my car and then ............................he says, "Let me run by CVS and then I will follow you home." Well I know I have not dated in while but this was not what I wanted to hear come out of this mans mouth. Stupidly I started some kind of gibrish and I might have even been stuttering when I asked What or Why or something to this effect. He gets real close and says..."Sweetie I did not drive all the way over here to just to say HOWDY.........
IT WAS just like one of those superman movies where Clark runs and changes clothes and reappeaqrs as Superman. Well ladies I honestly did not change clothes but I turned into the worse Ms. Pearl I have seen in a while. I totally lost it in the restaurant parking lot. I actually reached to the back of my dress reaching for my handcuffs. hahahahaha  Thank God they were not there.
What a horrible ending to a lovely evening. All the way home I was beating myself up for going and ladies I EVEN SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THIS !!!!!!!


Rebecca said...

I always love to visit you Ms. Maggie AKA Mrs. Pearl.

I think you are hysterical. I now have to follow along so I don't miss out on thing. That handsome hunk in your post on the 6th doesn't look human to me. I've never seen that species before? Where do they live?


Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

Honey, it's a good thing you weren't packing that night. LOL.

Did the girlfriends get an earful? I have a feeling you won't be doing a post about another blind date for a VERY long time because it "ain't gonna" happen again!

Marie said...

Said it before, I'll say it again, men are dumb. Nothing left to say.


Jenny S said...

OMG!! I would have slapped him!! How dare he make such an assumption on your first date!!

Anonymous said...

LOL, MEN! Decades ago I had an experience with a young fellow I had just started dating. On our second date he explained his "timeline" and "expectations" from me. HEEELLLOOO! THAT loser never got another date. Some guys are just idiots.

Thank God I met and married my hubby that adores, AND RESPECTS, me.

Leah the Orange said...

oh me oh my, maggie! SERIOUSLY! he didn't drive all that way to say HOWDY? can i get a "WHOA, NELLIE!"?

your friends picked a real winner, didn't they?! scratch them off your christmas card list for this year. ;)

Brynwood Needleworks said...

You poor dear! What's in the water with these supposedly upstanding guys these days. My mum tells me the same kinds of stories, and now swears she'll never date again...and who could blame either of you?! Honestly!!!
So sorry it ended up like an episode from one of the soaps. What a creep (not you...HIM!) lol
Here's to egg nog for ONE!
Merry Christmas,

The French Bear said...

Ha ha ha, is that why the friends are ex's?!!!!! Too funny, you should have flipped over the hood of his car and cuffed him!!!!
That's really sad to think that men still act and think like that.
Hope the rest of your week is better! Don't forget to stop by my blog and enter to win Santa, now there's a guy you can trust!!!
Margaret B

Nikia, May and da kids said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only person who went through that kind of ordeal. Then what do these kind of men want you to say after??
"Why follow me home? I'm trashy enough to use my own back seat if you are that ready?"

Is that why they're your two ex-friends now?? Men can be so dang dumb sometimes. When weird stuff like that use to happen before I found my husband, I use to just same I'm a lesbian. You can't say that now because men consider it a plus = )


Me....bunny said...

HA! I met my ex husband on a blind date...I think that means I was blind at the
It's funny how some men assume should have asked him how long he's been out of the assumed he was gay...LMAO
Stick to your ranch hand magpie...OH you kill me!

The Garden of Egan said...

Ex friends is right! MERCY What a jack&^%&*

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh Ms Pearl darlin...
I would have taken off those heels and ran his butt back to his car. I might have even hit him with one. Just when did he hear you say "Desperate?" He obviously missed something.

You just wanted a nice dinner and conversation. Not everyone is into the free for all. A few of us still have a little self respect. Shame on him.

I hope Ms Pearl took one of those heels into the office of those X-FRIENDS and smacked them around a little too.

Just goes to prove, you can't judge a "JUDGE" by the robe can you?

Sorry sweetie. There really is someone out there for you, but these nosy busy bodies have got to mind their own business. You can do fine on your own.

Stop by and say hi. I would love to have you visit. I did a beautiful post tonight. I think you would love it.

Country hugs sweetie...Sherry

Dessa said...

OH MY GOD!!!! What a son of a b*tch! I might just have decked him.

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

amazing how forward some people are..AMAZING...glad you kept your kewl..too bad you didn't have mace on you..:)

Ronda said...

Morning my sweet friend,

Oh My Stars!!!

I just don't even know what to say...except....

I just can't even believe he was that presumptious to think that on a first meeting/date, that it automatically meant you were a "roll in hay kinda gal".


I recommend telling your friends..."thanks but NO THANKS" You'll find your Mr. Right on your own...your way...and in God's own gracious time.

I am so very sorry that your night had such a bad ending. But I just know that you looked beautiful.

So many men are just plain old STUPID!

Love & Prayers,

Janean said...

what a stinkin' (judge) cheeseball! yuk! guess "this God's gift to women" walked CVS pharmacy isles alone looking for another unsuspecting lady. ewwww...

Kim said...

I just found your blog and after reading this post, I haven't laughed so hard for a long time. The male mind never ceased to amaze me!

Arkansas Patti said...

Good grief, now I know why I am thrilled to be out of the dating market.Age does have some advantages.

Julie said...

Oh, Maggie! I'm so sorry about this! What a PERFECT time for Ms. Pearl to emerge! He deserved a sucker punch and those handcuffs for sure! So sorry you had to go through that! Oh, well! Thanks for making us laugh this morning, though!

Thanks for your kind visits, Maggie--sorry I haven't been visiting much--life's been a bit crazy lately! I know it is for all of us!

Hope you're having a wonderful Christmas time--stay away from the judges!!!

LuLu Kellogg said...

I would have changed him from a Rooster to a Hen and then snatched him bald headed.

That's what you call a weenie with ears!


Blue Creek Home said...

No he di-unt!!!!!!
Amazing! How I wish you could have found your cuffs!!!! (I think I know where you could have put them and then attach it to his ego!!!)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW you ladies have made me roll this morning. Darn you guys are funny. I am the luckest women alive to have friends like you gals. I think I need to take each of your comments and do a story on them. HOW I love all of you.
Just hope I never have to go before this Judge. I did not leave out too much in the parking lot. lol
Dang I am still laughing so hard I can hardly see what I am typing.
I have to do a post about all of you

NitWit1 said...

I've never had a successful blind date. And most ended with a similar scenario as yours.

If I were single, I'd probably stay that way...period.

Midlife Mom said...

When I think people can't ever disappoint me any more I hear a story like this. What an idiot, he's lucky you weren't carrying those handcuffs or he might have found himself cuffed to the nearest lightpole! What an inflated ego Mr. Judge has....Bleck!!!!!

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage and Junkologie said...

What? You weren't turned on by that? Ha! My mother would sum him up in one word: "Jerk." Kudos to Ms. Pearl!

Nezzy said...

Oh My Gosh!!! This Ozarks farm chick would have dropped dead right then and there. I have only been on one blind date that has lasted almost 37 years now. It blows me away that this guy just assumed he could follow ya home. Nothin' upstanding about that one!

From the hills ans hollers of the Ozarks, ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day free of dirty old Judges!!!

Nezzy said...

My parents live in Brownsville Texas so as we cross the state line entering your great state hubby and I look at each other and say, "miles and miles of Texas." The drive from the Ponderosa is 1,145 miles. My parents will be will be eighty one and have many needs and health issues so the trip is never a real vacation.

Thanks so much for poppin' in with your sweet comment and hoppin' on. I sure hope ya'll enjoy the ride!

In the words of Granny Clampett, "ya'll come back now, ya hear!!!"

Delena said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog and I always love followers. I laughed and read your story about the Judge to my husband. Your description took me there and I can't wait to read your blog in the future.

tattered 'n torn prims said...

Oh My Gosh!!! I just happened upon your blog and sorry.....but I'm in tears here!! That is the most horrible/hysterical thing I've ever heard!!! So what did he say when he came to???? tee hee hee!!

I'll be my dear Ms. Pearl are a hoot!!!

sissie said...

Well, you know the old saying about men, as to where their brains are! Wow, this guy had some nerve. You should have wrangled him down to the ground, stomped on his chest and left him there! LOL.
Anyway, your blog is great! I came over to see you from Sherry's blog and I'm glad I did.
I'm signing up so I can see what you are up to
because you are so funny.
Stop by and see me sometime too. I'd love to get to know you better. You are my kinda gal!

Terri Kahrs said...

Reminds me of a date I went on many, many moons ago before I met my husband. This guy bought dinner and wanted me to "repay him". When I said, "no", he had the nerve to say, "Well, I bought you dinner." To which I replied while shoving my fingers down my throat, "Do you want it back?" GOOD for YOU!!!!

Terry said...

Howdy Sweetie Pie
My oh my it's a good thing you left your gun out of your garter ,well I am just saying ,
I'm A texas gal and next to shaving legs and wearing diamonds you just naturally want to be safe and honey running to CVS just doesn't count ,he must have dropped out of some stranded UFO somewhere to not realize how beautiful you are and that good manners are not optional in life !!!
I am sorry it didn't go as planned but I am so glad you can just scratch this bozo off the nice list .
He must have enough coal in his christmas stocking to power an Alcoa plant at his age .
Well you just remeber sweet pea that what goes around comes around and move on and shake the dust off your feet .
There are still good people in this world and when your ready and He is ready Mr.Nice is going to come along .
In the meantime you count your blessings and don't get side tracked stick to your standards .
Blessings to you for the coming weekend.
Big hugs my blogging friend.
Take Care
Happy Trails

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Don't you just wonder sometimes where they come up with this kind of thing? Oh my gosh.....Shame on him. As they say "that ain't no way to treat a lady".... :-)

Thanks for coming to visit!

I'll be back.....nothing like a little levity to lighten the day!

Warm blessings,

Renie Burghardt said...

Maggie, this was too much! But, despite the old coot's presumptions, it was funny! I am glad I came to visit this evening.

Have a great weekend!


Anonymous said...

What a bad deal! What a jerk. I just don't know where the connection can be made.

Anne~fiona and twig said...

I am sooooo glad I'm married!
He should've known better how to treat a lovely lady such as yourself! Men will be boys, or is that dogs???

Anonymous said...

please pick up your Circle Of Friends award Thank you for being my friend

vickie said...

Oh my Maggie! What a disappointment! And, to think you shaved your legs for that! Thanks for putting my web info in your blog. I appreciate it so much, every little bit helps!
Have a wonderful weekend.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

What a jerk! I'm so glad Ms. Pearl told him exactly what she felt! Oh, I'm glad I'm not out there dating. I know it's a whole different kind of world out there now. I'm so sorry this was ended so badly. Maybe next time. Just keep shaving those legs! laurie

Jacque said...

Good Morning Ms PEARL...LOL...well, what can I say that others have not? Men--they are all dogs??? Well, not all of them, but it makes one wonder about the "morals" of judges in our judicial system, doesn't it?

Keep packing your pistol and writing these funnly blogs! I love 'em!

OleCrowsNestJournal_Nan said...

How patronizing and sexist. This man does not live in a world where women are considered an equal. He brought shame on himself.

aBohemianMarket said...

Hi Maggie:
Please give Mz. Pearl a big hug from me!!!
He is a no good ^&%*&$# and I am glad Mz. Pearl was close!!!
Have a wonderful day

Lisa said...

Oh I would have told him that going to cvs, would do no good, that he isn't big enough to wear what he was going to buy!!!!!!! Ugh!