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Friday, November 12, 2010

Pat Searches!

barney fife Pictures, Images and Photos

The other day I came across ole Barney in one of his many bloopers with Andy Griffith. As Andy's sidekick deputy he could really do some crazy off the wall things. It brought back some funny memories of  my days as an Officer.

If you have ever did a Pat Search of someone you will know that the first few times are always the most intimidating. I thought of my first one ever and wanted to share it with you today.

It was a male about 6ft 1" tall and thin build. I ask him to put his hands up on the wall and spread his feet. I always did the neck first and work my way down hopefully not finding anything on the individual.
I got to his knees just fine and then I felt something really hard on the right leg. You might say my eyes lit up exactly like Barney's did when something was not quite right. I took a step backwards to get out of his way in case he tried to move his hands toward me and I grabbed my handcuffs. When he realized what I was going to do next he then explained to me that he had a wooden leg.

Now what are the chances the first time you do a pat search and the guy has a wooden leg that makes you think OH God what now. Anyway I then pulled up his pant leg to confirm that this was true. I honestly was so relieved to find sure enough a big wooden leg.

Turns out months later he tried to beat a guy to death with this leg and was charged with a new crime and shipped off to another unit. Can you see the headlines. Man beats man with his leg. Weird.

Another time I did a pat search I recognized a name on the guys tag of his waist band. It was a name you don't see or hear much and I immediately remembered the name from a fellow high school classmate. I thought no way could this be him but you know Ms Pearl is going to find out. So she ask the guy his first name which checked out to be the same name. Then next I ask where he was from and yep he was from the same place I grew up. Wow! This guy had been voted the Class Clown and was very popular. I had always liked him along with most of the kids I graduated with. By now of course he is curious about my questions and I tell him I thought for a minute he was someone I knew but was mistaken.

I of course had to report this to the Unit Warden that I knew someone locked up there and he called me in his office and drilled me about how I knew him. I explained to the Warden that I was positive the guy had no idea who I was and would do everything possible to keep it that way. After thinking it over he decided not to transfer the inmate and so for several years every time I saw this guy I could not help but think of how things must of went so far wrong with him. Turns out this was not his first time down and after he got out that time if he was arrested and sentenced again he would be classified as a Habitual and serve a long long time behind bars. Needless to say I never saw him at any class reunions.

Hope you have been having a great week! I have to tell you yesterday I had a visit from a very special lady and I loved every minute that she and her husband were at my home. Looking forward to telling you about the sweet lady in the near future. Right now I will just leave you in suspense. It was the most wonderful visit and I shall always cherish that time we spent together. When I can I will post pictures of  the special day.

I am now at the library trying to finish this post before they close. My bytes are driving this ole grandma up the wall. Take it from me limited Internet service should be banned from our country. lol

CSN contacted me also about having another giveaway for them so be sure and watch for this. You will not want to miss it. I love this company and how they let me give you such great gift certificates. I think this one will be the same amount as the last one $65.00. What a great time to win that around the holidays.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and do whatever it is that makes you happy.

Love to all


Linda said...

Well, if you go to the airport to get on a plane, YOU will be patted up and down, or put through the 'show the naked person' machine.

I don't think I could do your job. How is your neck?

sjmcdowell said...

Hi Maggie,

Ummm well I wonder who your visitor was????

I suppose you can say you never know who you might "Pat" down someday!!!!
The story about the fellow with the wooden leg sounds like something out of a movie...ha ha I bet a picture of your face would have been precious when he told you he had a wooden leg!!! OMG...too funny!!

Have a great weekend my dear friend!!

Love always,


♥ Sonny ♥ said...

I always love reading your posts.. You tell the best stories..
Thanks for starting my weekend off with a laugh..


Tam said...

Maggie so glad you did a post. I was getting worried about you. Stopped in several times but no new post.
This is too much. I would have probably had an accident if it had been me feeling wood below the knee but thank goodness it was not up higher. Sorry I could not help it
Like Sonny I love to read your stories

Celestina Marie Designs said...

Hi Maggie,
Loved reading this story. How funny now but I am sure was very scary at the time.

I think I know who the visitors were!!! LOL

By the way, my mother and her brothers went to school with the real Don Knotts( Barney Fife) They said he was always a funny guy.

Have a great weekend.
Hugs, Celestina Marie

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

It took me a minute to realize what a Pat Search was, Maggie! A wooden leg - my mind was in the gutter though on what I would have the headline read for a man who beat another man with his wooden leg. I will behave myself and not put it here! ; ) I am curious to here about your visitors now! A shame about the class clown going bad.

Nezzy said...

Can't say I've ever heard of someone usin' their prosthetic as a lethal weapon!!! I'm sure your life has been most interestin' to say the least! Heeehehehe!

God bless ya and do take care havin' a fantabulous weekend sweetie!!!

Kim said...

I love that wooden leg story. I was in the Hong Kong airport a few years ago and was in line to go through security. The guy doing the pat downs was about 6 ft tall and ooooh so HOT. I was kind of looking forward to it.....LOL Then when it was my turn, he stepped back and a 350 pound woman replaced him. I was so disappointed!!!!

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

You crack me up! I bet you have a thousand more stories to share. Isn't human nature fascinating? Years ago I was an x-ray wouldn't believe what people get stuck in their orifices...I mean all of them!

Maggie, you are a treasure and a true my friend and your sweet note is what prompted me to reclaim my blog. How could I ever walk away from such an amazing group of ladies and the incredible support they offer. THANK YOU for being a shining light in my life. It means more to me than you could ever know and I thank you for being a better friend to me than I have been to you. My heart is always in the right place but with all the B.S. my head isn't always where it should be.

I truly adore you and your kind and gentle spirit and I'm sorry that you are going through so much as well...believe me I know how terrible it is and I keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Let's keep our chins up and choose to hang onto each other and hope...even if it's by the tippy-tip of our fingernails!

Love YOU Sweet Friend!


Draffin Bears said...

Hi Maggie,

I enjoyed visiting you today and reading your funny post. You always have such a great post and tale to tell.
Glad that you had a visit from a special Lady and look forward to hearing more.

Have a happy weekend

myletterstoemily said...

hey maggie,

i have been wanting to ask you to share some
law enforcement stories! this was so fun to

thank you.

Crawford Family said...

Funny stories. I just stopped by because you were on a friends list. I'll be stopping by more often.

Garden of Egan said...

Only you would have a story like this. Seriously.
A wooden leg?
Sorry about the bytes thing. I wouldn't be able to cope with that.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Tammy said...

Okay, it's been a long week for us in our home and when I started reading, I thought, Who's Pat? It simply didn't click UNTIL the hard wooden thing. I would died right there. hehe. The stories you tell are a real hoot. Hugs. tammy

Home and Heart said...

I LOVE your stories Maggie!!! I also love and miss the days of Andy, Barney, Aunt B and Opie. *Sigh* Looking forward to the sweet couple story too.

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Hi Maggie Sweetie...
I know...I know... And no I am not telling. I know where they are now too. I heard through the grapevine all about your beautiful visit.

Oh sweetie, I can just see you patting down a man, a big man, with a wooden leg of all things. I think someday you and Ms Pearl should write a book all about your wonderful adventures with your job at hand. I would buy a copy for sure. I love visiting with you and Ms Pearl.

I pray you are feeling well this evening. Oh and another CSN giveaway. I can't wait for this one. You are right with the holidays coming what a wonderful share this is. I will keep my fingers crossed on this one.

Have a gorgeous weekend sweetie. You are such a blessing. I love popping over to say hello and listen to the music. It take me to a peaceful place.

Oh and before I close, can I have a piece of that cheesecake or is it all gone?

Many hugs sweetie and so much love, Sherry

The French Bear said...

Maggie, you are so funny, I love the stories!!!! My first pat down was so funny for the other members...not me, I am sure they thought it was funny, I barely touched her cause I was shaking so bad!!! Glad to hear your old voice coming back and hopefully you are feeling heaps better!!!!
Really we need to get together, sure wish it wasn't so far away.....someday Sweets!!!!

Karen Whittal said...

I love these stories and repeat them to my friends....... I know a Dallas policeman, keep the laughs coming.........

Marydon said...

Hysterical laughing from BOTH of us over our hot tea & coffee this AM, sweet Maggie. I'd have paid money to be a mouse in the corner when you found that 'leg'.

What with all the 'crapola' on TV, we watch a lot of the good ol' days comedy reruns... we love Barney & Andy.

Don't let me miss this giveaway... did you enter ours?

One day Maggie, one day ...

Have a beautiful weekend, my precious friend.
Love you, Me & He

Marla @ Always Nesting said...

Maggie, you are always so sweet and so funny! I love being blogging buddies with you and hmmmm....I hate waiting....who is your visitor??? You are such a tease, lol.

NitWit1 said...

Reminds me of a good blog story about a pharmacist (me)having to coounsel a certain OLD physician about an injection for impotence and how and where to do it. I cringed just thinking about it. Dr. has since passed on. I was so glad with VIAGRA etc. came out and all you had to tell them was swallow a pill and not have sex, not take the pill, if they had heart problems which is an anomily, since the physician should have known if he had heart problems and not prescribed it.

Brenda Kula said...

Oh, I can remember how old Barney's eyes would almost pop out of his head. That was my favorite show. That and I Love Lucy. Barney: there will never be another like him. I see Andy Griffith on commercials. Boy, is he looking old, bless him.

Libbie said...

A wooden leg!!! No that is too funny that he was your first pat down :) I am so glad you are sharing your interesting life with us Maggie!!! I better run... there is a boy in a blanket (ghost) coming at me :)

Sue said...

What great stories you tell!

And I can't wait for your "surprise" post!


HOOTIN' ANNI said...

So....seriously, do you still go to class reunions after all these years? [kidding!!!]

What a story. The headlines would look weird about the wooden leg. But it was nothing like one I read long ago...Nunn gets 6 inches [of course Nunn is a small, small town in Colorado...and there was snowfall] But geez, you'd think the editors would EDIT that headline, wouldn't you?

Cherrie said...

Speaking of reunions I am going to mine tonight!

Arkansas Patti said...

Too funny about the wooden leg. Afraid my old mind slipped into the gutter briefly also:))
Kind of sad about your high school chum. Sometimes the most promising just don't make it and the pimple faced unknowns become brilliant heart surgeons.
Hope you are felling better. Take good care.

yaya said...

Maggie, my niece is a detective in Chicago and she has great stories too. I really enjoy reading about the things you've done because they always make me either smile, or just laugh out loud. You're right about CSN stores..I love the item I bought with the gift certificate I won from you a few months ago. That was awesome! The wooden leg reminded me of someone else who was beaten pretty badly with one...wasn't his name Paul McCartney?

A Tale of Two Cities said...

I am sure you could write a book about all your experiences, and it would be a big seller. A wooden leg on your first pat-down?? Bet you were flabbergasted!!