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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wiping Your Dooper!



There are 35 boards in my bedroom ceiling. One board where the ceiling fan hangs looks like a web is being spun by a spider and another looks like a spot was missed the last time it was painted. They all could use the swifter duster. Wonder what the ceiling would look like painted pink. Three walls are soft green and one pink so maybe the ceiling should be pink or what goes with pink and green.

Yep in between pain pills I count and recount the boards on the ceiling. No sleep for three days now. Whoever told me these pain pills would knock me out has no knowledge of meds.
Remember Roy one of the Grumpy Old Men who likes to follow me when I mow…well he showed up thank goodness to mow. Yesterday about noon he rings the door bell to see if I need anything from town and I creep to the door thinking I would have another birthday before I get there. Anyway he stepped in and I turned around to turn on the light so it would not be to romantic looking and him get any ideas and when I turned around he just starts laughing and snorting really hard so I flip on the light and ask him what’s so funny and he says, Well Maggie you have something hanging from your pants. I figured I sat on some cat hair or something so not too worried well low and behold when I ran my hand back there a large stream of toilet paper was in my hand. OMG Maggie turned beet red and Ms. Pearl said, “Who in the heck was trying to wrap me while I was sleeping?” Grabbed all of it tried to act like it was no big deal and then hurried Roy out the door. Good gosh it is hell getting old. Now how in the world do you suppose I wiped my dooper and instead of flushing it I was wearing it? I guess while I am recounting the boards today I can try to figure that one out. Thank God it was just Roy at the door and not some good looking man wanting directions to town. Lol

Love to all

Maggie

PS

Dictated to Christi and submitted by Christi…(mom is not getting better so we are trying to get her into another neurosurgeon that might do something besides just telling her to lay in bed for 4 weeks until the bones heel. Even as much pain as this crazy women is in she stills wants to talk to you guys on here. I guess when this is all over I am going to have to join the world of blogland….lets see what would I name it…Growing up with Lucille Ball!)

Clint has her now so lets see how that works for her posting…lol…Christi

40 comments:

Brynwood Needleworks said...

Dear Christi and Maggie:
OMG! I've done lots of embarrASSing things in my life, but that God, this isn't one of them (yet).
I can only imagine how you must have felt! I have to admit, I'm laughing my BUTT off right now, though (if only!).

You need to get better, girlfriend. We're all missing your humor and quick wit around Blogland. Sorta like roaming in the desert for 40 years, if you get my drift!

Write as you can, or have Christi (thank you, thank you) keep us posted.
xoxo
Donna

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Oh Maggie I am so sorry to hear about how you are healing..I do hope the neurosurgeon can help you find relief soon...and the toilet paper story is funny and you had a quick come back..so even in your drug induced state..you still got it.;)

Andrea said...

Christi,
We would love to have you in the blogworld. It is a beautiful place.

As for romantic atmosphere..you could have left the light off if you had known you were wearing your toilet paper...obviously, the toilet paper would have taken care of it...lol!

I am glad you are seeking further medical opinions!! Praying for you!!

Blessings and hugs,
andrea

Sares said...

I am sure she'll whip Clint into good blogging shape in no time! I am so sorry you are not feeling any better Maggie. I hope you get the appointment you need ASAP so you can get on the road to healing, sans toilet paper hanging out the back end of you pants!

Dan said...

Maggie~

That is one of the funniest things I have heard in a while. I am sure you were embarrassed, but try not to be. One day you will look back on this and laugh!

I sure wish you would get better soon. I hope you can find a doctor that can offer you some relieve. I am glad your kids are taking such good care of you!

Get better soon!

Love~
~Dan~

Leah the Orange said...

oh, Maggie! even when things are rough, you are still able to charm the pants off us! you are a piece of work, lady. feel better soon, damn it! and thanks, Christi, for posting, and keeping us up to date, and for being the "messenger"! :)

Susan said...

Oh no! It's so awful...but funny, too. I hope Roy doesn't put it in the local paper!
Ms Pearl does get some good ones off!

Sue said...

I am so sad to think that Maggie is having such problems with healing. I will redouble my prayers.

And I love that she keeps her sense of humor through all this! You are too much, Maggie. Hang in there.

=)

Lisalulu said...

oh Maggie, hope you are well enough to even read this??? as all the comments are funny too. YOU are such an entertainer~ MAN o MAN you have got to get better, glad you are fighting this and seeing another Dr.

Rebecca said...

Dear Miss M...

Thinking of you and hoping you are well enough to read all our good wishes.

Praying for you and complete healing.

The tissue story was hysterical.

xoRebecca

Garden of Egan said...

Wanderin' with toilet paper in your nethers......really?
You are awesome and I love you.

Now I think that Christi should kidnap your blog and really tell us how it is.

I hope you get some help in a hurry. This has gone on long enough.

Cherrie said...

Oh my, that is so funny!

Diane at Crafty Passions said...

Funny post !!
I have a funny one too but it didn't happen to me , it was my daughter, she was trying to make me laugh as I was having another kidney stone traveling through my body, feeling like it was a 25 pound turkey at emerg in the hospital, I was not in the laughing mood, she was walking around with this bit of tissue hanging from her cheeks.... the cheeks on the bottom.. LOL I said what's that ?? just as the doctor cam in >>> Oh Mom I am getting a fax !!! I laughed I could not help it.... ( so did the doctor) but my daughter turned all colors !! hehehe
>You can always say you were getting faxed if it happens again LOL !!
Take care of yourself and let other's help you .
Diane

bunny said...

Oh Maggie...that was hysterical, not to you at the moment, but it will be. No worries...we've all done embarrassing things at one time or another. Yes..go see another doctor..this has been going on way to long. And we would love to hear from Cristi and Clint...that might be fun too.

bunnyh

Sharon's Cottage Quilts said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard!! Oh my... Ya know I'm finding that stuff like that happens to me now too! You're not alone sweet friend, not at all. We're all together in this!!
I am so sorry to know that you are not healing. I have been praying for you every day Maggie, and I will continue on until the sunshine returns! Lots of love and Blessings, Sharon

Marydon Ford said...

ROFLOL! I once, dressed fit to kill as I was meeting a Congressman for lunch ... had to excuse myself from the table ... back when micro minis were IN & I was young enough to wear them ... I walked thru this gi-normus restaurant, did my thing & returned to table. As I was parading thru the restaurant I noticed everyone was looking at me, I wasn't sure how to take it so I just smiled! As I sat down the bartender came over & whispered something in the Congressman's ear ... the Congressman said 'I don't know how to tell you this, Marydon, but your skirt is caught up in your pantyhose. Welllllllllll, red as my hair is! my face was redder ... I could have died.
When I sat down my skirt became dislodged back into proper positioning.

Get well soon, sweetie. Keep the lights down low ...

Have a lovely weekend.
TTFN Hugs, Marydon

Julie Harward said...

Oh Maggie...what are we going to do with you?! This has gone on too long, time to change lanes girl! That was funny about the TP..at least it gave you a laugh..later..right?! Love ya...hope something happens for the good..soon! :D

Always Nesting said...

Another doctor seems the logical choice at this point. A 2nd opinion won't hurt since you are not feeling good at all. It might even help if you need to go in another direction with your medical care. Girl, I sure hope you start to feel better soon.

Many years ago at Yellowstone National Park I saw a lady walking around, sight seeing with a long, long string of toilet paper hanging out of the back of her pants almost to the ground. It was hilarious. Life, just life.

Karen Whittal said...

Well, at least he has seen you at your worst Maggie, it can only get better from here.......... God bless...... thanks for thinking of me when you are going through so much........... you are an amazing lady.

Debby said...

Oh Maggie, please get well soon. This has been way too long. Pain pills work for me for a couple of days. I think they make me sleepy because I am worn out. After that I can't sleep either. Please get rest. I hope the new doctor can help you.
I had the bootie paper happen to me. I was in the doctor's office and the doctor told me. I too could have crawled in a hole.
Last year when my Mom was in the hospital having her kidney removed, my son and I were walking down the hall. There were a bunch of people visiting other patients. When we got back to my Mom's room by Hubby told me that my skirt was hiked up in the back of my undies. OMG.
You get better girl. Praying for you.

Delena said...

Maggie you make me smile. Your words always paint a picture. Please have your daughter email me , I want to send you something to cheer you up.
delenaj2@gmail.com

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, Maggie...you are TOOOOOO funny...I'm laughing and smiling so much that it hurts!!!! And yes, thank goodness it wasn't someone you were trying to impress. Praying for your recovery and care!!! So glad Christi is there! Love, Janine XO

C.J. said...

you would think with all of the people that care about you and sending prayers you would get better! I am getting upset that you aren't. See another doctor and right away! Love to you.

Auntie Cake said...

Oh my goodness Maggie! That is hilariously funny as it happened to you instead of me. If it had happened to me, well...

I feel for you girl. This story is yet another reason why you do need to go see another doctor. We can't have our girl be in major pain and wearing toilet paper at the same time.

If I lived closer, I would come for a "cheer- you-up-visit. I don't have anything close to wearing the toilet paper, but I could make up something good...

Hugs to you and while I am hugging, I might just check and see what else you have going on back there...
Kate

Meghan said...

Oh Maggie, you have the BEST stories. And I love how you just embrace life and roll with the punches! I hope you are feeling better!

Shelly said...

Maggie Dear,,,I love you to pieces, toilet paper and all!
I hope you find a new doctor QUICK and get to the bottom (no pun intended) of all this!

I miss you so,,,,and Yeah, you snuck me a reply and an email and SHAME ON YOU! Okay,I loved it because I really really miss you!

Do I need to get on an airplane and fly down there??? Honestly the "kids" are doing great and I'm so glad they are there for you!

Sweet Friend, rest up,,,I know that is hard, but we ALL need you back! I always get so delighted to read the replies and comments....how lucky are you to have so many people in your life that love you so??? Of Course,,,you totally deserve it!!!

Big but Gentle hugs and you KNOW I love you to pieces!!!
Shell

dulcy said...

Well... hope you're better soon (sans tp paper). Thanks so much for checking in with me and your sweet comment about Rosie. I need to check back here more often. Feels like I'm missing out on some major events!

Dulcy

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Thank you for the smile. I hope you are well soon.

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Oh you funny girl!! I even read this one to my hubby after filling him in on who Maggie, Roy, and Ms. Pearl all are!! Too cute! Please take care and feel better soon, Maggie. Prayers are being said for you!

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

artangel said...

Maggie I'd hoped you'd be feeling better by now, so sorry to hear that you're still struggling. It's rubbish having to put up with this for so long, and it must seem like forever to you. Even though you're laid up though you still made us laugh, this is a great story!
Hang in there hon, hope you're up and about really soon, hugs to you ((()))
Angie x

Marydon Ford said...

G'morn, Sweetie ~ TY for popping over. Sherry was NOT good yesterday at all but sees the pulmonary specialist tomorrow ... I can hardly wait for the appointment for her. I talk to her daily, as I am so worried about her. She got antibiotics for her 'new' infection that is going back into bronchitis from the gp Dr. on Monday ... oh, Lordy, has she had a bout with all of this stuff.

Now, I am asking you to please take good care, get the Drs. to do more x-rays & see why you are in such pain ... God bless you, my sweet friend ... I wish I were closer to help you.

Keep me posted. Hugs, Marydon

The White Farmhouse said...

I give you a 10 for that amazing comeback! Thank god that has not happened to me yet. I have been being bossed around by kids for 14 years now and they would surely let me know that!

Hope that you do get better soon! I think I would go bonkers in bed for that long!

Sharon said...

Maggie I will continue to pray that you will get some relief real soon.
I am glad to see that through all of your pain you still have not lost your sense of humor.
I loved your come back.
Take care of yourself sweet friend.

Brenda@Cozy Little House said...

I can't take pain pills due to acid reflux. And if I managed to take many, I wouldn't be needing any toilet paper. There wouldn't be any need. They must work differently on you. It is hell getting old, Mags. Truly it is.
Brenda

Mimi Sue said...

Hilarious! Last year I used the potty in a gas station, got a soda, noticed this nice young man staring at me, thought he must think I'm kinda cute, caught him staring at my behind, got back out to the car, looked in my side mirror. Much to my horror I had a tp tail. Pathetic. Hope the new neurosurgeon will be able to help. Mimi

Joyce said...

Humor is the best medicine and this was so funny with the toilet paper. Have a good day.
Joyce

Mumsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mumsy said...

Good morning, sweet Christi and sweet Maggie,

Every time I come to read postings I am hoping to find better news but yet again that is not the case. I hope that the new doctor will give you some answers and you, sweet Maggie will be feeling a whole lot better very soon.

I am thankful you have been able to keep your wonderful sense of humor despite all the pain.

That ceiling has to be getting pretty boring by now and I hope very soon your eyes will behold much more interesting views.

Glad the mowing is done again and you did not have to do it.

Prayers going up still for both of you and I leave you lots of Huge hugs!

Mumsy

Taos Sunflower said...

Sorry to hear you're still not feeling well...but delighted your sense of humor is still intact. That story has me LOL! XXX Martie

Kissed by an Angel said...

Dear Maggie, I do hope you will soon improve!! You still have your sense of humour - brilliant!!
Blessings