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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Do You Use A Vibrator?


Valentine Pictures, Images and Photos
Gosh it seems like forever since we visited! I know I am way behind with my visits and blogging. You would think that I could keep up better but something or someone will come along and take me away from you!

Not that distractions are bad because sometimes they are just what you might need for that day. So far no tall drink of water has come by though and distracted me but you know when that happens you will be the first to know.

Speaking of tall drinks of water it makes me think of my pain management doctor Ramon. Oh yeah he is a Ramon alright straight off the boat from Italy and if I were french I would say Oh la la ......

Well I had another visit with Ramon Friday and I woke up hurting so bad that I wanted to cancel because his office is an hour away from me. I went and I have to tell you I am sitting in the waiting room .....you know the lounge out from where you wait and wait for your name to be called. I guess that is why it is a waiting room. Anyway I sit down with the intent to breath and try to relax so I could maybe ease the headache that was really trying to ruin my day.

So I am sitting there all laid back ...well you know as much as you can in one of those waiting room chairs and this lady in a bright red work out suit and hair the color of a raven came and sat down in the chair next to me. Now that is okay but there were at least 30 other empty chairs so why the one next to me. She smiles this big big smile and says hello. I returned the greeting and went back to my meditation. hahaha

This lady immediately starting telling me her life story. I kid you not. I can tell you where she was born and raised. How many children she has and where they lived and how long she was married and the different states they have lived in. She even told me about them moving in with his Aunt and Uncle one time because they were very old and it drove her crazy even though they were the sweetest people in the world. Ms Raven hair then told me about how she had a nervous breakdown living with them but she was okay now.

I have not done this in a long time and I am sure it was Ms. Pearl trying so hard to come out but I would not let her but I let her visually come out. What I mean is she sat there a good thirty minutes listening to story after story from this lady and one time I was on top of her putting duct tape on her mouth. Another time I was running away from her and she was chasing me trying to keep talking. I think I even slapped her one time. hahaha...You get the picture....I eventually stopped listening to her and was visualizing ways to get her to shut up.  This poor lady even told me one time that her husband would embarrass her by talking about how much she talks.  I looked at her like WHAT why would he think that of you. Holly Molly give me a break. Then the lady finally calls Maggie and I almost ran to her in order to get out of the way of that woman.

Let me explain I talk a lot and am not proud of it but Jeeeeeezzzz Marie this was more that any one person could handle. So naturally by the time I got in to see Ramon I was a nervous wreck!

Ramon is explaining to me that he had not got the test work back on my last visit with another doctor so he could not really change too much today. Was I surprised? No! He did order me therapy again but not pool therapy. This will be out of the pool for five days a week. Problem with that is he wants it to be between 2 and 4 hours a day. It won't be me doing that many hours unless Ms Pearl thinks she can.

Then I sitting there thinking if Ramon was my instructor I might could make it longer than an hour and while I am visualizing that he said out of nowhere,"Do you use a vibrator?" I looked at him for a good minute before I said, "Excuse me what did you ask me?" Of course he repeated the question and I was sitting there thinking good God I just went through hell in the waiting room with some idiot and now this man is asking me if I use a vibrator. What the heck is going on here today. Silly me says, "How would that help my pain in my back?"
Ramon looks at me and finally said," A vibrator For your neck and back!"

"Of course,  I said, what other kind is there?"  I know my face was beet red and stupid me wanted to be back in the waiting room listening to the Raven Hair lady. lol

I should of said, "No I don't use one but please please Ramon ask the lady that is coming in here next if she does!" God I would of love to have been a fly on the wall for that answer from her.

Must go for now and catch up with life! Have a great rest of the weekend! Hopefully the sun is shining where you are and the snow is melting. What is going to happen to the South when all your snow melts will our rivers run over?

Don't forget the One World One Heart giveaway ends on the 17th so click my side bar to enter.

Love to all

Maggie

49 comments:

FairfieldHouse said...

Thud! (That's me laughing so hard I fell off the chair.) You see, I am such a smart ass I would have said yes as often as possible and I named him Max!

Sybil said...

OH my dear Grandmayellow hair...you just make me laugh and laugh...if I have broken a rib..on your head be it LOL
You are always in my prayers and know that all will be well in the end...with your attitude to life how could it be otherwise..
Much much Love sybil xx

Mumsy, Chancy and Company said...

Sweet Maggie, you surely should hold the record for being able to make people laugh...I laughed so hard that now I must rush off to the potty...for real! Still praying for you dear, sweet friend. Hope the therapy goes well and you do not have to go for so many hours, that is enough to take up most of your day...goodness!! Still praying for Gary too and hope he is getting stronger. Big hugs to you sweet Maggie and nose kisses for Tinkerbell

Delena said...

I did a double take on that title! Thanks for the laugh today!

Lynns Lovelies said...

Girl, you are hysterical!! I can just seeze Ms Raven-Hair Big Mouth just blabbing on and on with you sitting there nodding every now and then. What a screen play this would be!

Thanks sooooo much for the laugh...I love you!

Hugs,
Lynn♥

Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

I thought for sure Ms. Raven-Hair the blabber mouth had asked you that question. I cannot even beging to tell you the vision I was getting while reading about her. I saw MS Pearl for sure in that waiting room. At least Ms. Pearl spared her and she is free to annoy the next unsuspecting peron!
Have a great weekend Maggie. xxoo

Kim said...

OMG.....I can't breathe! I will be giggling about this one for days! Next time you should answer "of course, I named it Thor - God of Thunder!". I am picturing your face as he asked you that question.....hahaha

Susan said...

Poor Maggie. Between Walmartians and goofballs, you could write a book. I hope you remember to LAUGH at these people later...it's very therapeutic!
Maggie, have you tried using a hot tub? The cool water in a pool would clench me all up
(muscles, I mean) but a hot tub might really relax you and help your poor back.

Tracy said...

Oh my goodness Missy...you are a stitch! I swear you crack me up...speaking of being a fly on the wall? I certainly would love to have been when you were asked that question~
However, I am real sorry about your back pain...my mom has pain at a threshold of 8 or 9 each day and there is nothing they can do...so she is just in pain; not a fun way to live!
Please get better and keep laughing! (as well as making us laugh!)

My Grama's Soul said...

Funny post dear friend....I must say the title certainly caught me eye. I thought this might be show and tell or True Confessions today!! (O:(O:

Xo

Jo

bunny said...

Actually....both would prolly do you good....LMAO...

have a good one?

bunny

Debbie said...

OMG Maggie.... this was too funny. I am sitting in Barnes and Noble and I am sure the people around me think I am nuts. Thank you for the giggle.

*hugs*
Debbie K

From Beyond My Kitchen Window said...

Just too funny. I would have loved to see your face.

Jane Carlstrom said...

Oh Maggie, You are such a delight.

Cherrie said...

lol

Brenda Kula said...

Oh Maggie, you sure do manage to find yourself in a lot of "fixes!"
Brenda

Jenny S said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard....I would have lost it! You really are too much!!

acorn hollow said...

Holy cow I didn't think I could open your blog in mixed company :) so funny! I hope you get some relief with your vibrator (to your neck) ha.
cathy

Deb said...

I tend to attrack people like that everywhere I go...I know there life history in amatter of minutes....it's crazy...

yaya said...

Hahahahahahahahahah...deep breath...Hahahhahahahaha! Sorry, time to wipe tears from eyes...Hahahahahahah!

Buttercup said...

At first I thought I clicked on some adult website...but Maggie, I am still laughing. I cannot imagine how I would have answered the question. Take good care and have a great Valentine's Day! Hugs and prayers for you.

Whimsey Creations said...

OMG you just crack me up! Nothing like a great blog title to get you to go read a post LOLOLOL I can just picture you asking Ramon how that would help your pain - bwahahahahahahahahahaha Oh Lordy, gotta go get a kleenex and wipe my eyes. Hope your pain abates soon and use whatever you must to help it go away! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Shirley said...

Hi Maggie, You are the best medicine I could ask for today. With hubby ill and going from the hospital to the nursing home for physical theraphy. I needed a good laugh for that I am very thankful. I have met some different people shall I say while I was living at the hospital 24/7. Ms Blabber Mouth made me think about that. You have a good day and I hope you get to feeling better. Your Missouri Friend.

Tam said...

Lordy Lordy woman what are we going to do with you. First of all I saw the post title and I thought omg Ms Pearl is out today! Tooooo dang funny...I am like all these other ladies tryiny to visualize your face when he ask you that. Even funnier possibly is the face you got when you were having visuals about doing something to that womans mouth.
That has never happened to me yet but it must be something to go through...I mean visuals or whatever their called when your talking to someone. lol
My dear Maggie you really crack me up...this one I have to share it is too good not too.
You must post about your rehab too
take care my funny friend
Tam

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

oh Maggie..you are wayyyyy toooo funny..I love your posts..and the answer is..I hardly know you well enough to answer that..lol..I have a joke that fits this but not in mixed company...;) have a good one and thanks for the laugh.;)

Julia said...

Having had back pain for 36 years, I use a vibrator for my back, a great big Thumper, an Acuvue accupressure machine years of Chiropractor treatments and theraputic massages and hot pads and Magic bags and I'm still in discomfort. But if he would have asked me that question, my head would have spinned right around. I think that he could have been a bit more tactful and suggest that you use a vibrator on your neck and back,

Great post Maggie. JB

Marydon said...

Dear Lord in Heaven!, Maggie. I can so picture this scene & you! We are ROFLOL hysterically! You & Miss Pearl work so well together ... miserable as today was & the pst couple of weeks, you always shine a wonderful 'ray of smiles'.

So glad you are getting more therapy. I still think you should look up Stud-ly Doo-right, he'd cure what ails you, chuckle!

Love you, sweetie. You have a beautiful week & loving Valentine's ... we'll talk soon.
Hugs of love,
Marydon

Lisalulu said...

ok, that blog post title had me going there for a minute.. .then you were seated with ms Talk-a-lot and I had NO idea where your story was going... you are wonderful at pulling off these 'stories' only they aren't stories are they, THEY ARE YOUR LIFE!!!!! we love you!

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

You silly girl! Good thing Ms. Pearl didn't pop out and answer THAT question for you! :0)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Donna said...

I haven't had a laughing out loud, tears rolling down my cheeks, uncontrollable belly laugh like that in a LONG, LONG time!!! THANKYOU!! Oh my gosh...the giggles and smiles you brought to all who read this today are (almost) worth all the pain you've been in! Hope you feel better soon, friend and that you find FUN (anyway you can...) on this Valentine's Day!

Arkansas Patti said...

I'll bet he asks in just that way to catch women off guard and to see how they will answer. Must make his day interesting. Was there a hint of a smile on his face?
I do hope this is a chapter in your book. Just too funny.

janet said...

OMGosh......too freakin funny!!!!!

You crack me up and always manage to make me smile

Thank you for that and feel better soon.

Janet xox

Nezzy said...

Sounds like Ms. Waitin' Room was there for treatment of 'diarrhea of the mouth'!!! Heeehehee!!!

Girl, ya sure know how to capture attention with your titles!!!! Heeehehehe!!!

I use a vibrator on hubs neck and shoulders often. 'Nuff said...... :o)

God bless ya and have a marvelous Valentine's Day sweetie!!!

The French Bear said...

Maggie, you crack me up!!!! You are just so precious, only you could tell a story like that and get away with it!!!! So glad you survived!!!
Hugs,
Mags
TOM
xx

Sue said...

This made me laugh out loud! REALLY loud.

You are a riot, Maggie.

=)

blueviolet said...

How completely awkward!

PEA said...

Oh Maggie...that could only happen to you! LOL Omigosh, I'm laughing hysterically here, just picturing your face when the doctor asked you that question. As for the Raven Haired lady, I seem to attract those types of people when I'm sitting in a waiting room. I swear next time I have to go to the clinic I'm going to wear a sign around my neck that says Don't Bother Me!! lol

Happy Valentine's Day, dear Maggie:-) Make sure you come over to pick up your Valentine!! xoxo

Libbie said...

MAggie I was reading this yesterday to myself sitting by my mom, Dad & husband...I burst out laughing & couldn't stop! I let my mom read it but told the men it was none of their business :) Way too funny!!!!! Glad you didn't answer ;)

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Maggie,

Oh no, you poor dear having the Lady telling you her life history! don't you hate that when you just want to sit quietly and wait.
Also I laughed out loud about the vibrator ~ yes, a book would be such a great idea, Ms Pearls tales would be great!
Do take care of yourself and sending lots of love for you on Valentines day.

Hugs
Carolyn

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Ok, so that was just what I needed this morning, a good giggle.

You are the best Maggie!

LuLu Kellogg said...

Maggie.....I have spit water all on my screen! LOL, you crack me up!

I flew down to see my girls last week and just got back so I am trying to catch up on my Blog visiting!

Love,
LuLu~*xoxo

Pam said...

Thanks for the laugh! You are the best, just too funny! I wish I had been there to take it all in.

NitWit1 said...

HA HA HA The answer is NO except I have had a neck pillow vibrator run on batteries. total loss of money and went to Humane Society in my last
2 box contribution. Don't think that was the type the good doctor had in mind.

shawkl said...

Oh my gosh! I read your "do you use a vibrator" story and just about fell out of my chair laughing! I'll be back for a longer visit!
Kathy
www.shawkl.com

Debbie said...

Oh my word! I almost never actually laugh out loud at posts but this one sure got me. Hysterical!!

Darlene said...

Oh Maggie, I almost didn't read this when I saw the title of your blog, but then I was just too darned curious. I'm so glad I did read it. Let me tell you girl, you really do know how to tell a story. You are a great writer and I love to read your blog.

I too have terrible back and neck problems. My doctor says my back is "riddled with arthritis" and I too have had to go to a pain clinic to get relief. It was wonderful at first because the cortisone shots really did help, but after a while they did nothing, so I stopped going. I find I get the most relief from gel packs that I put in the freezer. I use them, and when the pain is really bad I use a heating pad along with them. I usually do a half hour with cold and then the same time with the heat. I have three differnt vibrators that, for the most part, just make it hurt worse. I am allergic to every pain pill made so have to just get along with my gel packs, which I honestly don't know what I would do without them. They really do help!!

I must say, I laughed so hard I almost cried. I haven't laughed like that in a long long time, and they say a good belly laugh is really good for one. Thanks a lot sweetie.

Sharon said...

OMG I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see your face with that question.
How funny.
Have a great weekend.

Karen Whittal said...

You had me wondering for a few minutes there, with it being Valentines day......

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