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Monday, March 1, 2010

MS. PEARL CAME BACK/TEMPTATION MONDAYS

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As most of you know Ms. Pearl has been rather quiet as of lately and no one appreciates that more than me but sometimes she comes out like the big black cloud of smoke that appears in the TV show LOST and like that cloud of smoke she destroys whatever is in her path.

Yesterday morning I had to work at the Sheriffs Office so my alarm is set for 3:30 am. In an earlier post I mentioned that my cat Tinkerbell was my other alarm because she starts slapping me about 3:15 am every morning regardless if it is a day off. As if someone has internally reset Tinkerbell she now usually goes off an hour early with the paw slapping. This has been going on now for a week or more. Needless to say this is not good. She’s lucky I haven’t moved her to the front porch.
Okay back to the story. I get up, feed her and put my uniform on and gather up my lunch, Dotty’s food (my outside dog) and the farm cat’s food and head out the door. I open the front door and then the screen door but before I can shut the door two of the Tom cats run inside. Geezzzzzzzzzz Marie what now!!! I drop everything in my hands and run back into the house and what do I see? Tinkerbell strutting her stuff…now mind you I have never seen a real pussy cat strut her stuff but believe me when I say in a matter of seconds she turned into a Streetwalker. Her butt and tail were just a swishing and you would have thought I had set an extra bowl of tuna out for her. OMG I was embarrassed for the silly girl.

At once, I grabbed her and ran for the back room to lock her up away from her Temptations and hurried back to the Tom Cats. About the time I enter the living room their headed up the stair way. I am thinking OH NO not up there too much stuff to hide under I will never get them out the door. You see my plan somehow was to chase them out the door because these cats have never been picked up and even though it was only 4:15 in the morning I knew I did not want to look like shredded pork for the rest of the week. I screamed all the way up the stairs while trying to beat them to that room. Made it closed the door and chased them back down the stairs.

Believe me you can not herd cats like cows. One went under the table the other went under the couch. They exchanged places for about ten minutes back and forth. I remembered I was already due at work so I phoned in late. Of course, no one believed me when I told them I was herding cats out of my house.

About another ten minutes in the chase, my head spins around and around and Ms. Pearl came out like I have never seen her. Enough was enough. She had grabbed a broom and went to swinging it with a vengeance. Girlfriends this ole girl did not care what she broke or who she broke but those cats were history. Now I know why they have nine lives. Not sure if it was the broom or the voice of Ms. Pearl but the biggest Tom Cat found the front screen door but instead of pushing it open he went through the bottom of it putting a huge hole in the screen. A few minutes later his scared friend went through the same hole.

Needless to say I was late for work missed my shift meeting and had to explain the ordeal to men who I knew would never believe me.

About ten minutes into my shift they bring me four punks in accused of Aggravated Robbery….one of them thinks he is going to act just like he does on the street but when he saw that cloud of black smoke appear it was all over…..

Today I have to talk to my Tinkerbell about the birds and the bees and how to be a lady! Goodness does she need help there.

Now for Temptation Mondays more cats….lol….Gina over at Cat Nap Inn Primitives has three remarkable dolls she has made and their for sale ladies. Once again the creativeness of all of you totally leaves me speechless. I know your thinking that’s not going to happen Maggie speechless.





Enjoy these unusual dolls and stop over and tell Gina what you think! I am in love with the Easter Bunny myself. Had enough of Cats for awhile…hahahaha

Ok ladies I need help naming my latest project. I am trying to do a post often about Real People and the first guest was Susan who we all loved her story. So do I name it Real People or do I name it Grandmayellowhairs Magazine or what are your suggestions. Also Brenda is my next guest which is busy writing her story as of this moment and will get it to me soon. I promise you do not want to miss her writing.

Don't forget the Chocolate Giveaway is coming to a close in a few days so if you have not entered then Ms Pearl will pay you a visit. hahaha
Ms. Pearl is going to get me fired one of these days and then I really will need to do a magazine.....Oprah are you hiring...

Love to all of you may the sunshine on you today and the snow go away until next year.
Maggie

29 comments:

Me....bunny said...

Are you ready to be a cat granny? I'm half asleep in the am so I don't know how you did all that. I would of closed the door and left the house...coming back to a "cat pad" later in the day...lol Oh man...funny stuff Magpie. BTW, I know how to herd Squirrels...I watch my grandsons all the time..HA!

tootles,
bunny

Kim said...

OMG Maggie,
I don't know which part of that story was funnier - Tinkerbell the Street Walker or the psycho Texan with a broom!!! As usual, your post brightened my day!
Kim

♥ Sonny ♥ said...

giggle fit.. this was so much fun, for ME anyway. thank you for posting and I hope the rest of your day went alot smoother that its start.. Cats , gotta love em...

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

I should NOT read your posts while at work...I laughed so hard my boss surely knows I'm messing around and up to no good!

You poor thing Maggie, I'm just picturing you running around trying to wrangle these horny boys while Tinkerbell is strutting her stuff...reminds me of this girl I used to know...anyway, sorry about your screen door but at least you got them out! Whew, that was funny...you ruined my eye make-up too, but so worth it!

I L-O-V-E Gina's dolls, they are fabulous! The bunny is my fav!! Thanks for introducing her work to me!

Well my friend, do let us know how your chat with Tinkerbell goes!

Hugs,
Karyn

Susan said...

That's so funny! Those poor tomcats probably felt like Hansel and Gretel in the witch's house!
My dog, Olaf thinks he's the cat sheriff at our house. If they are misbehaving in any way, he is on them like white on rice!
I'll have to check your previous posts to find out who Ms. Pearl is.
Susan

Nezzy said...

Oh Miss Maggie this had me in stiches! I can just see Miss Pearl comin' out with her broom and big bellows. Then tryin' to explain the whole event to a bunch of guys! Heeeheehe! Oh girl, your great!

God bless and have a great day void of hooker kitties! Oh Lordy forgive me, I used Gods name and hooker kitties in the same sentence! Somethin' I never foresaw doin' today. :o)

Kissed by an Angel said...

I'm guessing Tinkerbell is not a 'Southern Lady' then!!! I was a good job Ms Pearl surfaced when she did - and saved the day!!!
Thank you so much - the sun IS shining on us today!! Hope it is on you too!!! Have a fabulous week!!!
Blesings to you my dear!!
xxxx

Delena said...

Maggie,

Please enter me in the chocolate giveaway. I am not sure what post I should have commented on.

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

hey Maggie, Oh my gosh, I could totally picture you running around the house and at 4 am..geez louise I would have had the same black smoke coming out of my head ears and every other orfus..Thank you for highlighting me again...you are the bestest..hopefully will have more for next week..Take care and I wish I could give you a hug...Hey what sorts of things do you collect, colors you love etc..etc..etc...and please send me your address too will you..:)

Cherrie said...

Love Ms. Pearl! I have been trying to leave a comment on your last two posts. I hope this one works

sjmcdowell said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! OMG Maggie!!! Wow Don't mess with Ms Pearl!! I could just see it in my imagination you hollerin at the top off your lungs, and like some crazy cartoon the cats go flying right through the screen door! That is hysterical!! Ok lets see, you need a name for your Real People stories....well ummm lets see.
How about "Creative ladys Stories", "Ruby's Friends", "Maggies Real People Real Stories"
Ok well sorry thats all I can come up with at the moment! Wishing you a very tranquil and restful evening Maggie...you need it!!
Ciao Bella

Vicki said...

Ha ah, My first time meeting Ms Pearl! She would get along just fine with the women where I was raised! And the little miss pussy cat...well, now ya know why she was smackin ya earlier...little hussie... (O:
How fun you are Maggie..
I think I've entered your giveaway..??
Now go enter mine! 1 year Blogaversary going on so come get in on the fun..
Oh, bye Ms Pearl..love ya!

Meghan said...

Oh Maggie, you are a trip! I love your stories! Thanks for brightening my day:)

Deb said...

Good thing Pearl came out to get rid of those darned ole alley cats...so funny....

Auntie Cake said...

Hi Sweet Maggie,
You have me laughing, and do I ever know how hard it is to herd cats. We have an abundance of stray cats around here and the spring is crazy! Seems every morning another tom shows up with a piece of his ear missing. Good luck with your talk, hope it works out well for you. And if it does, let me know, I can use some pointers.

Have a great week,
Kate

Debra@Common Ground said...

I literally was laughing out loud reading this post. I have cats so I can totally relate. I could really see this in my head, so so funny! I'd love for you to come by my blog and enter the giveaway. Hope you get some sleep tonight!
blesssing,
Debra

jojo said...

Oh my goodness, I have visions of you running around swinging that broom...you are too funny. I'm so glad you got the buggers outside and really, you must have a talk with Tink...she's gonna get into all kinds of trouble!
I like the idea of GMYH Magazine..it has a nice ring to it and I can't wait to hear/read Brendas story. I already visit her and love her pretty blog.
You take care, put Ms. Pearl away and try to get some rest...

Arkansas Patti said...

A female cat in heat will turn down NOTHING. My vet has told me that too often he gets to inform people that their cat's back is not broken as it scoots along with its butt in the air, it is just in heat.

Sharon said...

Oh Ms Pearl, you had me in stitches this morning.
My boss thought that I had lost my mind.
Thanks for sharing and I hope your birds and bees talk works out for you.

1 Funky Woman said...

Way too funny! I've had to herd my dogs before and thats pretty hard when one is a Corgi. They don't like to be herded when they are the herdee! Anyway not sure what you were asking me. I'd love to help you out but I'm not an expert, so let me know what your question is again and I will do my best!

stefanie said...

lol, that is the funniest story, I am sure it wasn't funny when it was happing, I think tinkerbell needs to be grounded.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

You guys are too funny. Yes I agree Tinkerbell does need grounding....
I appreciate as always your comments....
Not sure if you noticed but I am trying to change my sidebars and take some of the stuff off and put it on different pages now that google offers us this. So my question is how do you put your blog list from your readers list on a seperate page...I know how to put it on the sidebar but can not get it on a page by itself...I know Rues Peanut Butter and Jelly Life has it and 1 Funky Woman does too so ladies let me know how to do it if you know how.
love
Maggie

Jody said...

What a delightful blog! I am tickled that you visited my blog, so I could find yours! Thanks so much for signing up for my givaway too....as I just love this part of giveaways.finding new blogs and new friends!

Rebecca said...

I am very, very afraid of Miss Pearl. She sounds like my best friends Momma before she found Jesus!

hahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahah

Love this post and YOU!

xoRebecca PS: Can't remember if I signed up for the Choco Giveaway. I prolly won't win but I'll try anyway. I never win! :( Poo!

Jo said...

Omigawd, you are hilarious...! I needed a giggle this afternoon. I'm so glad I found you, and I'll be back. I have to ehar some more Ms. Pearl stories! We all need some Ms. Pearl in our lives. -)

aliceinparis said...

That was too funny. I could just picture it! Poor you. Thanks for popping by:)

Julie Harward said...

How funny...laughed myself silly! You could write movie scripts! :D

Glorious Hats said...

Hi Maggie, Fun story.

sj's idea for your real people series is great-- Ruby's Friends", "Maggies Real People Real Stories" maybe put these two together as

"Ruby's Friends: Real People, Real Stories"

Best wishes,
Jane

PEA said...

Omigosh I have tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing so much. I could just picture Miss Pearl with that broom, scaring the bejesus outta those two toms! hehe As for Tinkerbell, yup you definitely have to tell her all about the birds & the bees. Sheesh, I`m just glad we gals don`t behave like that...well how could we, we have no tail! :-) Ok that was bad. lol

Gina`s dolls are absolutely gorgeous and I have no doubt she will have no problems selling them. I`m also always in awe of the talent out there. xoxo