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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Thank You!

My Dear Sweet Precious Friends I can not find the words to thank you for all your heart warming comments and your many prayers. Your words have kept me going these past weeks. I have to say what I have been through just since I wrote you last I honestly can not imagine doing it without knowing you were there beside me.

I appreciate all of you so much and wanted to update you just a little tonight before I go to bed.

It's only been a month since I was told I have Congestive Heart Failure but if you were to visit me or talk to me on the phone you might think that this has been going on a very long time. Considering how fast I have been going down in the last two weeks I wonder if I have had this disease already for a year or more.

My children were able to find me a doctor at the Heart Institute in Austin and last Thursday I kept my appointment. We were surprised that it was hours before I actually got to see the Doctor. I had been feeling worse every day so was happy just to be there knowing maybe I was going to get answers and hopefully help. He visited with us for a long while and then decided that since it had been three weeks since my diagnosis that something else was happening too so he ordered a Heart Cauterization for the next day which was Good Friday.

The next morning we had to be back to the hospital by 5am and the procedure at 7am. Everyone was on schedule and by 9 am I was back in my room. Praise God there was not significant blockage to warrant any stints. Best news but still no answers to why I feel so bad. The Doctor explained he wanted me to come back on April 14th and he would work on setting me up with a Lung Specialist.

Clint and Chad were with me the whole day and I went to recover at Chad's house since I could not climb stairs. The next morning I woke up sicker than a dog and living in the bathroom for the next 12 hours. Chad phoned Clint and poor Clint showed up with Depends and a package of panties. He told us the story of trying to find the right panties not having a clue what to get me and even though I was feeling awful I did manage to laugh. I told him not even I have ever bought depends and how proud I was of him doing this for me.

Christi came by on her way to meet with the Wedding Venue people and was too impressed with her big brothers.

The next morning my stomach had settled down but I started having bad chest pains that would come and go. I didn't know what to think since I had just had the heart test on Friday and this was Sunday.
After hours of the pains coming and going and then jaw hurting, arm hurting along with my back Chad took me back to the hospital emergency room which was all the way across Austin. It wasn't long and Clint was there too.

In a matter of minutes there were ER nurses and techs all over me. I could not believe how fast they ran all the needed test to determine if indeed it was a heart attack. Thank God it was not but the ER Doctor told me he could not explain the pain in my chest.

He then got brutally honest with me and not sure I was ready for what he was saying to us. He let me know in no uncertain words that what I had was a very serious disease and that I would be sick quite often with it. I told him that I was just diagnosed with it and did not expect to be feeling bad every minute of the day. I have no energy and can't do anything with out loosing my breath or lying down for a while..

He said I would not get better in two weeks, one month or two months. That what I had came with a very high Mortality Rate. I needed to just do what the doctor tells me, take my meds and eat a low sodium diet.

I know it's better to be honest with patients but I think he was so cold about it. Maybe he had a long day and was tired or he felt I was being to naive with my disease.

I left the emergency room feeling really down and went back to Chad's. I managed to sleep some of the night and woke up Monday feeling okay.

What I was trying to explain to this ER Doctor was I knew how serious my disease was but I did not expect to be short of breath not able to do hardly anything without having to lay down to rest so soon into this disease. Of course I guess he thought she must not realize she has probably had this for a while.

So I talked the boys into letting me come back home to the North Forty mainly because my cats had been alone for six nights. Long time and I needed to hold my Tinkerbell. She has not been two inches away from me since last night.

I don't know the future no one does. I do know that I am not going to just give up and let this take over until it has taken over. I will do everything I can to get stronger and if it's not meant to be then I will pray for the courage to accept this way of life and live the best I can under the circumstances.

It does scare me to think I could be a lot farther along than I ever imagined with this disease but until I hear that from a specialist then I have hope.

It's just strange that before my visit to the emergency room a month ago I was working two jobs and doing good. Then all of sudden I can't even walk to the mail box or do little chores.

I hope soon I can write a post that is filled with something funny and not about feeling bad.

As always I knew you were waiting like the dear friend you are to hear what's going on. Right now I am just taking one day at a time. I need to go shopping tomorrow and see about a different pair of shoes for the wedding but I dread having to go. It will be here before we know it.

I thought I would be sharing stories of getting ready for the wedding but life has no guarantees so we all just do what we need to do.

You are the best and I love you. Thanks for always being here for me.

God Bless You!

Love to all
Maggie

34 comments:

Karen Mortensen said...

Wow. Praying for you my dear friend. Hope you can start feeling better.

Cathy said...

My mom had Congestive Heart Failure for about 8 years before she passed away at the age of 83.

She was always tired, and often out of breath even though she was on oxygen all the time.

It's not a fun disease and I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

Pat said...

My dear Maggie,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. Praying for you. and hoping you will begin to feel better.

Paula said...

My prayers for you sweet lady.

Bill S. said...

Good luck, our prayers are with you. We too, hope that soon you will well and will write something funny for us.

Gorges Smythe said...

Maggie, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. I'll pray that they can come up with meds or procedures to reverse at least some of the effects of the condition.

Lesley UK said...

Dear Maggie, I'm so sorry about your health problems. You know you have people all over the world thinking about you and sending healing thoughts. I just wish there was something more I could do to help. Blessings

The Dutchess said...

Dearest Maggie...so sorry to hear this..do try to keep hope !!
I know doctors know a lot..but there's also Maggie..who's strong !!

sending you hugs and prayers..xoxo

From the Kitchen said...

You have had a rough time my friend! I hope you get some answers and definitive treatment soon. We'll be waiting for your "funny" to return.

Best,
Bonnie

Linda said...

Oh, this is not good news. I'm sorry the Dr was not more forthcoming with info for you. This is a disease you can live with, but you won't have the energy you've been used to having. Just rest when you need, take your medications, stay away from people that are sick, and keep your positive attitude!

The Lord will be with you!

acorn hollow said...

Maggie while I have not dealt with what you are going through. I have been through a Dr telling me that he will not live more than 6 months. I am here telling you Drs are wrong. you are blessed with lots of prayers so God is listening. you need to keep positive thoughts in your mind and heart. Never give in to the fear. Find ways to keep your mind busy. Try lots of funny movies or beautiful poetry.
And thank God every day for your healing. Believe it before you get it. When David was so sick I kept a journal and I only allowed myself positive thoughts'. Some days it was as small as we are still breathing in and out. Or the moon is beautiful tonight and I am sincerely thankful for that.
I will keep you in my prayers and I am so thankful that I have met you here.
Cathy

Jacqueline said...

I hope there is something they can do or give you to help get your strength and life back.

Julia said...

Dear Maggie, I'm so glad to get an update on you.
I'm so sorry about that Doctor"s bedside manners. He's obviously not helping as he left you feeling like a chastised kid.
I hope that you can find someone to help you get better soon.

Your boys were great, and I think they deserve a big hug.

I'm keeping you in my prayers and will look forward to another update soon.

Take care of yourself the best you can. I love your attitude.
Hugs,
Julia

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Most diseases we are diagnosed with have been with us for awhile, even years. The anxiety that comes with the news affects our health even more. Listen to your doctors, take your meds, rest, and look forward to tomorrow. You need to find a doctor that is not only honest, but compassionate. My dad had CHF for 13 years and lived to be 93. He had quality of life for most of that time. That was over a decade ago and science in this disease has progressed 10 fold since then. Hang in there. You can get better, Maggie. Where there is life, there is hope.

Olga Hebert said...

You were on my mind as I turned on the computer this morning. I was glad to have an update, although not glad that you are suffering. It is hard to understand how you were going so strong and then suddenly not going at all. That doctor could use a dose of bedside manner.You continue to be in my prayers.

Jean said...

I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling any better. With all the prayers going out for you and yes I will be praying to that you feel better soon.

shawkl said...

Sweetie, listen to your body. It has had quite a shock! Try just living in the moment...if you are tired...lay down. Stress is a huge contribute to fatigue. And with the heart tests coming back so good; a panic attack could have been the reason for the start up of the chest/arm/jaw pain. Those are no fun. Try to think calming thoughts...have a cup of tea. Looks like it's time for some lifestyle changes...thinking about you dear one. Hugs, Kathy

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

Dear Maggie, so sorry to hear that you continue to feel so unwell. A friend of ours was perfectly healthy and fine with no symptoms that anything was going to happen and one day, bam, major chest pain and when he got to the ER and had many tests, it was determined he needed stints -- and once they got in, it turned out all 4 valves were extremely blocked so they did them all. He's only in his early 50s and was rather shocked by it since heart disease does not run in his family. Just never know what will happen, even when we try to do everything right. Take care of yourself. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

Shirley said...

Oh Maggie, I am praying for you to get better. My son-in-law just had open heart surgery with 5 bypasses and is progressing. I am so happy that your boys were with you when you went to see the doctor. You know that I will continue to say prayers for you. You are probably on a lot of meds and your body is trying to adjust to them. Just take care. We are all here for you. Many Hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri Friend Shirley@shirleystitches

Cherrie said...

I am praying for you my dear friend. I too am going through some serious health issues.

Just Me Pooh said...

Dear, sweet Maggie I just feel so bad for you and I wish I could take it all away for you. What sweet and wonderful sons you have. I am so glad you have a loving family there for you when you need them. Holding you close in my thoughts and heart dear friend. Cuddle with and stroke sweet Tinkerbell, she will be good for your heart problems and help you feel better. Love and hugs, Maggie

yaya said...

I work with doctors every day and some have a good bedside manner and others just don't. Please don't let one man's opinion and bad humor get in the way of your health and attitude. I keep thinking that you'll find that one Doc who'll find a way to help and encourage you. The mean Doc is right about following orders and your diet..but you already know that. Please just rest and take it very easy for now. You've always been a "can do" gal but sometimes we have to slow down. You're in my prayers dear Maggie. I think we'll see that funny girl here again..but for now just get well one day at a time.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

You are all so precious to me. Can't wait to visit all of you.
I had to let you know that I did good today shopping for shoes for Christi's wedding. I managed better than I thought I would so how happy that makes me.
Of course now I am worn out but happy!
Tomorrow I plan on visiting you and taking it easy.
Love to all
Maggie

GerryART said...

Maggie, dear sweet Maggie, am happy to see a post from you this evening. Not so happy to read your update to us.
Everyone has expressed all the LOVE, Prayers and Thoughts we have for you so well.
You know that we are right there by your side as you continue on the path that will get you on the mend.
Yep, your boys are extra special - especially in regards to shopping for those Depends not to mention undies as well.
Dear Friend Maggie, you are such a special friend who has always been so kind to me. You are in My Heart.

Lots of love,
many hugs,
Gerry

joanne said...

Oh my dear Maggie, this saddens my heart so much to hear that you are having such a hard time. You have been through so much these last few years and I know you wanted to be strong and healthy for the wedding. I wish I could fly down there and hug you and help out but I often am the one needing the help too. Please know I am thinking of you, praying for you and sending healing love and light your way. As always you are on my mind. If you get a chance send me you addy, I have a little some some for you. Sweet dreams my dear Maggie.

PoetessWug said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling physically like this, but I can read in your words that you're still keeping a mentally hopeful stance. I applaud you! Being positive can't be easy now. But, as you said, there's always hope! And if you want to read or listen to something positive, take an online trip over to jw.org ... The spiritually upbuilding info and music, videos, etc...will definitely keep you in an upbuilt and hopeful mood! ♥ In the meantime, don't be too tough on yourself, or expect too much out of yourself. Let yourself be loved by that fabu family of yours!! :-]

Julia said...

Good morning dear Maggie. Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment on my blog. I've missed you so much too.

I'm so glad that you've found a new pair of shoes for the wedding. I hope that you learn to relax and just take it one day at a time like Yaya said. She gave good advice.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, JB ♡

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Sending all the good mojo I can muster sweetie...Hang in there, maybe the specialist will have some answers...

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry to hear all that you're going through! Congestive heart failure is certainly very serious, but that doctor's attitude was so cold. There are so many variables and so many discoveries coming up all the time, so no one can say what your true prognosis is. It just makes sense to take good care of yourself -- and it sounds like your wonderful kids are helping you so much! What a blessing they all are. You're in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend!

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Maggie, just know that you are in my thoughts & prayers my friend.
(((hugs)))

Ba Ba and Mommy said...

I have thought of you often the last few weeks and keep you in my prayers. You were a guiding light for me while going through my breast cancer treatment a few years ago and I hope we can all be your support right now.

Take care of yourself. You are a very strong woman. Please know that you are not far from my heart.

Linda

JOHN said...

In Jesus name I.ask.healing over your body somethings getting over looked and not right dont hestitate to get a different doctor or go to the E.R.I wonder if they did CT scan check for broncial Phumonia sometumes its hidden keep in touch God Bless you

La Petite Gallery said...

Maggie my neighbor has that also. She is 87 and they are afraid to do any procedure. So she has accepted it and is living every day to the fullest. I
am taking advice from her and taking care of business now. Have you seen another Doctor. Hey they make mistakes all the time. Big hug keep in touch. yvonne

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