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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Dumb Nut!

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I will tell you how crazy I am I don't remember if I told you about the female in our jail who keeps swallowing things. Today I was hurting so bad and was counting the minutes til three so I could leave when this female hits the button to talk to me and is acting really dumb and I can't understand a word she is saying so I find my Sgt and I send him to her cell because last week we had to take her to the hospital for emergency surgery because she swallowed the wires from her bra. YEP you read it right. The dumb nut has a bra on which was left with her by someone not doing their job and she takes the wires out breaks them in pieces and swallows them. Not only did she swallow those wires but a pencil and several other odd pieces.

She told another Officer that she needed to go to the hospital because she had swallowed the wires. I have seen lots of things but never this so I figured if I were betting on this I would say No Way put her back in her cell. Which is the way I was leaning but thank goodness it was not me to make the final call because Yes when they took her to the emergency room she had swallowed her bra wires and several other things. What a Idiot.

So she spends the weekend in the hospital after surgery Friday. Then today she buzzes me and ask if she can take a shower. Being the only femaile on duty and I am fixing to leave I tell her no. Well I guess no was the wrong answer because before I could get out the door she calls crying and telling me things I can't understand.

Turns out she had swallowed a comb and a toothbrush. Now who was stupid enough to give her these pieces to swallow is my question. I was hurting to bad to stick around and find out. Once my partner said to me You better leave while you can I grabbed my keys and never looked back. hahahaha

When your hurting as bad as I was I did not care if she swallowed everything in her cell I wanted to go home. Seriously I guess I don't mean that but jeezzz why would anyone keep swallowing things. Stupid!!!!!

I guess in the morning when I go back I will hear all about what happened. She is one of those inmates who does anything for attention. Some of them think if they act crazy enough that we will send them to the state hospital and then after a few weeks there their problems will go away. Nope it does not work that way.

Today I took way toooooo many pain pills. I could not sleep last night for hurting and then when I got up this morning I wanted to call in sick but with working light duty and part time I honestly don't know what the rules for calling in are now. My guess is there is no such thing. I tried to call my attorney to find out what she has done to help my situation and would you believe no word back from her. Gosh can I pick the right people sometimes I wonder if I were born on Friday the 13th. I know I celebrated my birthday last week on that day.

Speaking of which thank you so much for leaving me comments on my post before this about my Birthday. You see before the contest ends in June I will donate a dollar for every comment left to me on that post to Juvenile Diabetes to help support a great cause and to help my granddaughter win her contest. If you have not left a comment on the post before this please do. I am excited to help her any way I can.

Gretchen is trying to make Christi and I think that the snake did not scare her but we know different. We were outside when she got home and we could here the screams all the way over to my porch. hahaha...So the next day I find the snake lying next to my porch where I walk down the ramp to my car. It did scare me for a second until I realized it was the one we put in her commode. hahahahaha...I left it there and pretended I did not see it. Then yesterday while Gretchen was at acting classes Christi and I put another one that looks even more like a snake and smaller in her garden where she has planted her Okra. She just got home a few minutes ago and I am sure about now she is watering the garden. Pay backs are hell I know.

Just had to write you before I went to bed tonight. Like I mentioned earlier I took way tooooooo many pain pills today and they are starting to kick in so I need to call it a night.

Wanted to Thank you before I did for all the Birthday wishes and comments about Kaci's Car. Isn't that the neatest entry. She is like a lot of you very creative. I intended to do a giveaway for my Birthday so that will be late. But we will have one really soon. What I have in mind will be cool. I hate to admit but I just now got my candy made and mailed to sweet Connie for my last giveaway. First Christi bought the wrong chocolate ...then something else happened and then my Birthday. But it is in the mail now so sorry Connie I was late mailing it.

Hope you are having a wonderful week. Stay well and remember I think of you often.

Well just when I was fixing to publish this post I hear my daughter Christi scream. I hurry into the living room and she is standing there laughing her head off because Gretchen had sneaked over here and put the snake at our front door inside the screen. When Christi took Toby out for his night time potty trip she did not see it until she came back to come inside. Then she screamed like something had got her. hahaha....I guess the light must of been just right coming back in. She was really laughing by the time I got in there because Gretchen had slipped over her without us knowing it and placed it there. Like I mentioned Pay Backs are Hell.

Sounds like the three of us have nothing else to do. lol

Love to all

Maggie

24 comments:

Darlene said...

It does sound like you three are having a great lot of fun (maybe too much) over the snakes. Ugh, I hate them too, so if I found one, even a fake one, I would likely scream my head off too.

I am so sorry Mags, that you have to put up with so much s--- at that crazy place you work, with all your pain, to say nothing about the crazies that inhabit that place. I can't believe that woman would keep swallowing things. It must be to get attention, but my gosh, it has to be most uncomfortable for her. What kind of satisfaction can she be getting, for goodnes sake?

I keep getting so frustrated every time I read your blog because there just doesn't seem to be any end to your suffering and that just is not right. Someone ought to be taking up your cause there and do something so that you can stay home until you are truly well enough to go back. All I can do is to pray for you, which I do.

Thanks for your kind words on my post. Take care, my friend, and know that you have a lot of people out here that care about what happens to you.

My love to you

Darlene

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Ya'll are having waaaay too much fun. Now if I were visiting and you did that to me, you'd either have a huge mess to clean up underneath where I was standing, or more likely you'd have to call an ambulance for me. I'm deathly afraid of snakes!!!!!!!

How on earth does someone swallow a toothbrush? On second thought, I don't need to know! :0)

Big TX Hugs,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Garden of Egan said...

Ah Maggie! Your life is so NOT boring! My heck, I don't know how you stay sane!

Weirdness at your work is so unbelievable! That's saying a lot considering my place of employment. I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or get mad at the idiot eater.

Of course it doesn't sound like a dull moment at your house either with the real and fake snakes.

I sure wish you could hurry up and STOP hurting. I wish the therapy or light duty or rest would just hurry up and do it's job. I think of you often and you are always in my prayers.
HUGS my friend.

Sue said...

I'm impressed that you are still laughing and having some fun despite all your pain.

And I think that lady who swallows everything but the kitchen sink is crazy.

=)

Marilyn said...

With some friends on our police force I know for a fact that just because the town is small doesn't mean the criminals are boring..... At least your days are not boring!! I will say though you could probably do with a few days of boring!!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!
Love,
Marilyn

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Ha Ha! The snakes sound like they are getting quite the work out, Maggie! Very weird about that woman prisoner. I read something about a month ago about a woman who eats the upholstery in her couch! I hope your attorney gets back to you, but make sure you keep on top of her. If you have to, you may need to find someone else. You better get Ms Pearl out to deal with these people! : )

Tracy said...

Oh Maggie,
You are a hoot! Gosh, I have missed all the fun being sick this week; the snake and your birthday! I am just glad to be on the mend and for the woman who swallow things, I had a student who use to eat Elmer's glue right out of the bottle. she'd take the lid off and just drink it and we'd hide all the glue and by God, she'd find it and drink the sucker down and i had the same thoughts as you...really? what stupidity! but I guess and know mental illness is alive and well!
hugs to you my friend!

Julia said...

My gosh, Maggie, what a weirdo that woman is. I guess she must be in some different kind of pain to do things like that.

Never a boring moment at your house. I wonder if that poor snake will grow up to be a normal snake after all you girls put it through, lol...

I sure hope that you will be free of back pain Maggie, if therapy and pain pills doesn't work, maybe you got to find yourself a healer to lay hands on you. At this point I would try anything. JB

Sharon said...

I want to wish you a belated birthday!!!
I hate snakes!! You have way to much fun.
I am sorry about your attorney. I think they are only good to take your money these days.
Prayers that your pain will soon be gone.
I was going to ask about the toothbrush but I also decided I didn't want to know.
Have a blessed day.

Whimsey Creations said...

Oh my gosh too funny about the snake. One time my husband hung a really awful Halloween mask by a string just inside the door that went down to our basement. Thought he'd scare me but my son who was about 11 opened the door and yelled bloody murder LOLOLOL We still talk about that one and my son is almost 39 now. I'm sorry you're still hurting so badly and sure hope your lawyer gets back to you soon. That woman at the jail - actually that's a sickness but I can't think of the name of it. But a toothbrush - how the heck can anyone swallow a toothbrush. I can't even swallow a tiny pill without putting it in a spoon or yogurt! LOLOLOL Big hugs!

Arkansas Patti said...

Possibly that inmate does all that pica eating to get pain meds in the hospital. She must be desperate.
Hope someday soon you don't kick at a snake thinking it is the fake one only to find out it is real. Be careful.

Sybil said...

Oh dear dear me...I laugh so much when I read your blog....and I know I am going to I have to visit the loo before I even start !!LOL
I am glad that we don;t have to worry anout snakes over here. I would forever be looking uner the bed etc etc etc !! spiders are bad enough for me thank you very much...
As for the toothbrush woman...well she must be really screwed up and a very sad person..
Love Sybil xxx

♥ Sonny ♥ said...

You always have the most interesting stories to tell.. I love visiting your blog..

Tell that dang attorney to get her butt in gear~!!

xoxoxo
Sonny

Nezzy said...

Well girl, ya may be drunk on pain pills but at least you haven't lost your sense of humor or adventure for some fun!

I'm prayin' for ya girl. I've spent my week outside workin' in my many flower gardens. I've got alotta catchin' up to do since I was down all last summer with those stinkin' shingles!

A very happy belated birthday sweetie.

Maybe your 'hungry' inmate has a wee bit of goat in her! Heeehehehe!!!! I agree with Patti...'could be a great way to get drugs.

You take care my sweet friend and enjoy this blessed day. I do so pray for complete relief for ya Maggie! :o)

Cozy Little House said...

That woman swallowing things has too much time on her hands. She needs to be out collecting trash at the side of the road if you asked me. Happy Belated Birthday!
Brenda

yaya said...

I've seen a few crazy items put in places they shouldn't...don't even ask. Makes the day a bit more interesting! You girls sound like a fun group. I'm glad you can have some fun and down time to make up for the pain and discomfort at work. I hope your attorney gets her act together quick!

Simply Soothing Studio said...

Had such a trying day today with DH out of town on business and your post just made me laugh and feel so much better. Definitely needed it!

Hoping you'll be feeling better.

Take care.

Linda

NitWit1 said...

Sounds like your kookie prisoner has a fetish - she nedds to be on a program I watch on TLC, can't remember its title, but it deals with strange addiction. One one ate (clean toilet tissue-carried in her purse and pockets) all day long. Another ate soft styrofoam like material found in cushions ad pillows. YUCK. That snake thing would probably set my heart into intense fibrillation....my philosphy is the only good snake is a dead one.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Yowsa! I can't understand that behavior, but it is probably some kind of obsessive thing...

Here's to only plastic snakes and no real ones in your future!

xxoo,

RMW

Donna said...

Maggie, I think you need a new attorney!!! This one is getting paid for what??

You are so spunky and I admire the way you work dispite all the pain. Poor you! Those snakes are going to scare the bejeepers out of your pain one of these days...ha

Julie Harward said...

That is so sad about that lady..how does a child of God get into such a bad way..very sad.
I hope you can get strong and healthy again..hang in there. :D

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Morning Maggie Sweetie...
Oh my, I am SO sorry to hear things are still not good. I continue to keep you in my prayers sweet one. I am right there with you, sometimes we wonder when is enough, ENOUGH with our poor bodies. What is up with your attorney? Apparently not doing her job. She knows the serious of this matter. I wonder if she works for them part time as well.

This poor gal. What some people won't do to get themselves out, when sadly it is what they have done that put them there in the first place. If they obeyed the laws they wouldn't be there. She may have drug issues. She may need to be placed back in there with absolutely nothing, no clothes, no bedding, nothing. Clean as a whistle room, and watched constantly. Sad but sometimes necessary.

Now about these snakes, you gals are SO much fun. I would be in on this one. I too, am terrified of snakes. (One day while gardening I had one slither right up my chest, and I was screaming and hollering and running every which way. For the longest time, every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was his tongue slithering at me. He was a BIG old garden snake.) Oh you gals are just to much.

Happy Belated Birthday sweet gal. Hope you had a beautiful day and were blessed with a little less pain for that one day. You are in my prayers sweet one. I went and made a donation for Ms Kaci's car design. She is a special little gal. She has some really stiff competition. I also just cost you a $1.00 from a message I left on your post.

Many hugs sweetie and SO much love, Sherry

Marydon said...

Sweetie, I am in hysterical laughter. My congestion is enjoying this for sure.

What a blast you 3 are having with one another ... good thing I'm not there! I can literally picture all of this back & forth. Have you tried the soap bubble sin the toilet tank yet ... it takes a whole jug of liquid soap & one bottle of food coloring ... then STAND BACK when you flush! Oh, the tales I can tell you ... let's see how about the jello in the bath tub ..........

Whatever is wrong with that inmate? That is just plain crazy! I know, I know, people do these things for attention but MERCY!

Maggie, I hope this pain relief comes soon. I'll call you, I promise tomorrow eve. Writing a note. Sorry I haven't by now ...

I miss you so, sweetie. Have a great week.
Hugs & oodles of love,
Marydon

Nancy @ Live love laugh said...

I haven't been blogging in a long while...but looked you right up to see what's up! You are...in spite of how you feel! You are so funny!
Sorry I missed your birthday...many happy wishes!!! Feel well!
~Nancy